Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits (Zoey Ashe, #1)

by Jason Pargin

“Don’t let this question alarm you, but do you have any weapons in the vehicle?” “No! Why would I—Wait, I have a spatula…” “Well, we have no indication your pursuer is a pancake, so we’ll abandon that angle for the moment.

People like me know that there is no magic. There is only the grind. Work looks like magic to those unwilling to do it.”

There is no ‘chosen one,’ there is no destiny, nobody wakes up one day and finds out they’re amazing at something. There’s just slamming your head into the wall, refusing to take no for an answer. Being relentless, until either the wall or your head breaks. You want to be a hero? You don’t have to make some grand decision. There’s no inspirational music, there’s no montage. You just don’t quit.”

You’ll know that humans aren’t cut out for anything. We cut ourselves out. Slowly, with a rusty knife. Because otherwise, here’s what’s going to happen: you’re going to die and you’re going to stand at the gates of judgment and you’re going to ask God what was the meaning of it all, and God will say, ‘I created the universe, you little shit. It was up to you to give it meaning.’”

“The One Ring. Like in Lord of the Rings.” “I think I saw part of that on cable. It’s about a little British kid in glasses who can do magic?”

“You can’t focus on death, or failure. Otherwise you’re surrendering greatness to all the people too dumb to contemplate it.”

She imagined the coroner examining her body later tonight and also noting that she had died in a pair of red panties that said “SHARK WEEK” across the front, with a cartoon Great White on the butt.

TACO STORM? • FAKE ALIEN INVASION? NUCLEAR BOMB? • ECHO HACKS AND/OR SEDUCES SOMETHING • DEFACE THE FIRE AND ICE (DONGS?) • CATS CATS CATS • GET MOLECH BACK HERE (FART RAY?) • WILL WORKS HIS MAGIC (LIKE IN “THE RINGMASTER”)

Wu said, “They call it kintsugi. The pot is shattered, then carefully reassembled with a resin mixed with gold. It symbolizes how we must incorporate our wounds into who we are, rather than try to merely repair and forget them.”