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“I’m not your possession, Luca. Don’t treat me like one.” His fingers on my waist tightened. “You are mine, Aria, and I protect what’s mine.”
Luca bent his head toward me to whisper in my ear. “You look fucking hot, Aria. Every man in the club wants you and I want to kill them all.” “I’m only yours,”
“I want to pretend I’m an ordinary girl tonight.” “Nobody who looks at you will think you are ordinary.”
“You have no shame,” Gianna said. “I’m taking off my shirt, not my fucking pants. Do you ever shut your mouth?”
“You know, sometimes I wish I could hate you, but I can’t. I think I love you. I never thought I could. And sometimes I wonder how it would be if you made love to me.”
“But you don’t love me,” I mumbled. “You don’t want to make love to me. You want to fuck me because you own me.” His arm tightened around me. “Sometimes I wish you had taken me in our wedding night; then at least I wouldn’t still wish for something that will never be. You want to fuck me like you fucked Grace, like an animal. That’s why she told me you would fuck me bloody, right?”
“I won’t touch you while you’re still vulnerable.” “A Capo with morals?” Luca’s face was serious. “I’m not Capo yet. And I have morals. Not many, but a couple.”
“Some men would have taken advantage of the situation,” I murmured. Luca’s jaw clenched. “I’m that kind of man, Aria. Don’t kid yourself into believing I’m a good man. I’m neither noble nor a gentleman. I’m a cruel bastard.” “Not to me.”
“You are scared, and I almost lose control. I should know better. I should prepare you properly, and instead I almost shove my cock into you.”
“I told you I’m not a good man. Even though I know you’re hurting, I still have a boner because I’m inside you.” “Because you want me.”
“I’ve never wanted anything more in my life,” Luca admitted.
“And where would the Bratva aim if they wanted to hurt you?” Luca extinguished the lights. “They won’t ever find out.”
“No. This is who I am, who I was born to be, Aria. It’s the only life I know, the only life I want. For me to commit to a normal life would be like an eagle living in a small cage in a zoo.”
“Your marriage to me shackles you to the mafia. Blood and death will be your life as long as I live.” “Then so be it. I’ll go where you go no matter how dark the path.”
“I loved the taste of you, principessa. I loved how you rode my fucking mouth. I loved my tongue in you. I love your pussy and your tits, and I love that you’re all mine.”
“That’s what this is about?” He sounded incredulous. “Of course you don’t understand, because you never loved anyone more than your own life. You can’t possibly understand how it is to feel your own heart breaking at the thought of the person you love getting hurt. I would die for the people I love.”
“I lied because I hate that I love you, because I hate that you can hurt me without ever laying a finger on me, because I hate myself for loving you even though you won’t ever love me back.” Luca released my wrists, eyes dark and questioning.
I’d sworn to myself I wouldn’t watch anyone I loved die tonight, even if meant I had to die first. The bullet hit my shoulder and my world exploded with pain. My shot hit the guy in the head and he dropped to the ground, dead. Luca ripped me to the side, but my vision turned black.
“We intercepted one of their drug deliveries. But that’s not important now.” “What is important then?” “That I almost lost you. That I saw you get shot,”
“Don’t do that ever again.” “What?” I breathed. “Taking a bullet for me.”
He didn’t say anything for a long time before he suddenly knelt before me and pressed his face against my stomach. “I could have lost you two days ago.” I shivered. “But you didn’t.” He peered up at me. “Why did you do this? Why did you take a bullet for me?” “Do you really not know why?” I whispered. He became very still, but didn’t say anything.
“I love you, Luca.” I knew saying it out loud was a risk, but I’d thought I’d die a couple days ago, so this was nothing.
“You love me.”
“You shouldn’t love me, Aria. I’m not someone who should be loved. People fear me, they hate me, they respect me, they admire me, but they don’t love me. I’m a killer. I’m good at killing. Better probably than at anything else, and I don’t regret it. Fuck, sometimes I even enjoy it. That’s a man you want to love?” “It’s not a matter of want, Luca. It’s not like I could choose to stop loving you.”
“And you hate that you love me. I remember you saying it before.”
“No. Not anymore. I know you aren’t a good man. I’ve always known it, and I don’t care. I know I should. I know I should lie awake at night hating myself for being okay with my husband being the boss of one of the most brutal and deadliest crime organizations in the States. But I don’t. What does that make me?”
“I’m not good,” Luca said almost desperately. “You’re not a good man, no. But you are good for me. I feel safe in your arms. I don’t know why, don’t even know why I love you, but I do, and that won’t change.” Luca closed his eyes, looking almost resigned. “Love is a risk in our world, and a weakness a Capo can’t afford.” “I know,”
“But I don’t care because loving you is the only pure thing in my life.” Tears brimmed in my eyes. “You love me?” “Yes, even if I shouldn’t. If my enemies knew how much you meant to me, they’d do anything to get their hands on you, to hurt me through you, to control me by threatening you. The Bratva will try again, and others will too. When I became a Made Man, I swore to put the Famiglia first, and I reinforced that same oath when I became a Capo dei Capi even though I knew I was lying. My first choice should always be the Famiglia.”
“But you are my first choice, Aria. I’ll burn down the world if I have to. I’ll kill and maim and blackmail. I’ll do anything for you. Maybe love is a risk, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take and as you said, it’s not a choice. I never thought I would, never thought I could love someone like that, but I fell in love with you. I fought it. It’s the first battle I didn’t mind losing.”
arms. “I don’t want to rest. I want to make love to you.” Luca looked pained. “I’m going to hurt you. Your stitches could rip open.” I trailed my hands down over his chest, his taut stomach until I brushed the bulge in his boxers. “He agrees with me.” “He always does, but he’s not the voice of reason, believe me.”
“I want to make love to you. I’ve wanted this for a long time.” “I’ve always made love to you, Aria.”
As he made love to me, I touched my hand to the tattoo over his heart, felt his heart beating against my palm. I smiled. “Mine.” “Always,” Luca said.
