No Mud, No Lotus: The Art of Transforming Suffering

by Thich Nhat Hanh

If you can recognize and accept your pain without running away from it, you will discover that although pain is there, joy can also be there at the same time.

The Buddha was saying that if we can recognize suffering, and if we embrace it and look deeply into its roots, then we’ll be able to let go of the habits that feed it and, at the same time, find a way to happiness.

The Buddha said that nothing can survive without food. This is true, not just for the physical existence of living beings, but also for states of mind. Love needs to be nurtured and fed to survive; and our suffering also survives because we enable and feed it. We ruminate on suffering, regret, and sorrow. We chew on them, swallow them, bring them back up, and eat them again and again. If we’re feeding our suffering while we’re walking, working, eating, or talking, we are making ourselves victims of the ghosts of the past, of the future, or our worries in the present. We’re not living our lives.

When suffering arises, the first thing to do is to stop, follow our breathing, and acknowledge it. Don’t try to deny uncomfortable emotions or push them down. Breathing in, I know suffering is there. Breathing out, I say hello to my suffering.

You think that you will die in a few years, or twenty years, or thirty years. That’s not true. You are dying now. You have been dying all the time. It’s actually very pleasant to die, which is also to live.

I wouldn’t want to be in a world without any suffering, because then there would be no compassion and understanding either. If you haven’t suffered hunger, you can’t appreciate having something to eat. If you haven’t gone through a war, you don’t know the value of peace. That is why we should not try to run away from one unpleasant thing after another. Holding our suffering, looking deeply into it, and transforming it into compassion, we find a way to happiness.

The most effective way to show compassion to another is to listen, rather than talk. You have an opportunity to practice deep, compassionate listening. If you can listen to the other person with compassion, your listening is like a salve for her wound. In the practice of compassionate listening, you listen with only one purpose, which is to give the other person the chance to speak out and to suffer less.

Part of the art of suffering well is learning not to magnify our pain by getting carried away in fear, anger, and despair. We build and maintain our energy reserves to handle the big sufferings; the little sufferings we can let go.

One basic problem that causes us to suffer is the idea that we are a separate self. This gives rise to the complexes of inferiority, superiority, and equality.

Happiness is impermanent, like everything else. In order for happiness to be extended and renewed, you have to learn how to feed your happiness. Nothing can survive without food, including happiness; your happiness can die if you don’t know how to nourish it.

We can condition our bodies and minds to happiness with the five practices of letting go, inviting positive seeds, mindfulness, concentration, and insight.

Waking up this morning I smile. I have twenty-four hours to live. I vow to live them deeply and learn to look at the beings around me with the eyes of compassion.

According to this practice, you have the right to suffer twenty-four hours, but not more. That’s the deadline. Then you have to practice the fourth mantra. If you can’t go to the person, you can use your mobile phone, your computer, or you can write it down on a piece of paper and put it on her desk or somewhere she will see it. I’m sure that when you are able to bring yourself to write it down, you will suffer less right away.

The mantra can be split into three parts. The first part is, “Darling, I suffer, and I want you to know.” That is sharing; you share your happiness and your suffering. “Please explain to me why you did that to me, why you said that to me. I suffer.” The second part is: “I am doing my best.” It means I am a practitioner of mindfulness, so when I get angry I don’t say or do anything that can cause damage to myself or to you. I am practicing mindful breathing, mindful walking, and looking deeply into my suffering, to find out the root of my suffering. I believe that you have caused my suffering. But because I’m a practitioner, I know I shouldn’t be too sure of that. I’m looking to see whether my suffering has come from a wrong perception on my part.

didn’t mean to say or do that. Since I’m a practitioner, I’m now doing my best to practice looking deeply to recognize...

The third sentence is: “Please help.” This part can be a little bit difficult, but it’s very important; it takes some courage. When we love each other, we need each other, especially when we suffer. Your suffering is her suffering. Her happiness is your happiness. Looking deeply into the situation, we may have an insight as to how we can reconcile and reestablish harmony between us. The three sentences are: “I suffer, and I want you to know it. I’m doing my best. Please help.” When you take the piece of paper from your wallet and read it, you will remember just what you need to do.

When we experience a strong emotion, the mind is agitated like the top of the tree. We have to bring our mind down to the trunk, to the abdomen, and focus all our attention on the rise and fall of the abdomen.

Listening deeply, we know that our ancestors are fully present in every cell of our body. We listen in such a way that all our ancestors are listening at the same time. If we can be peaceful and joyful while listening, then all our ancestors will also experience peace and joy at the same time. It is possible to invite all our ancestors to join us in listening to the bell.

May I be peaceful, happy, and light in body and spirit. May she be peaceful, happy, and light in body and spirit. May he be peaceful, happy, and light in body and spirit. May they be peaceful, happy, and light in body and spirit. May I be safe and free from injury. May she be safe and free from injury. May he be safe and free from injury. May they be safe and free from injury. May I be free from anger, afflictions, fear, and anxiety. May she be free from anger, afflictions, fear, and anxiety. May he be free from anger, afflictions, fear, and anxiety. May they be free from anger, afflictions, fear, and anxiety.

According to the Buddha, a human being is made of five elements, called skandhas in Sanskrit. They are: form (body), feelings, perceptions, mental formations, and consciousness.

May I learn to look at myself with the eyes of understanding and love. May I learn to look at her with the eyes of understanding and love. May I learn to look at him with the eyes of understanding and love. May I learn to look at them with the eyes of understanding and love.

May I be able to recognize and touch the seeds of joy and happiness in myself. May I be able to recognize and touch the seeds of joy and happiness in her. May I be able to recognize and touch the seeds of joy and happiness in him. May I be able to recognize and touch the seeds of joy and happiness in them. May I learn to identify and see the sources of anger, craving, and delusion in myself. May I learn to identify and see the sources of anger, craving, and delusion in her. May I learn to identify and see the sources of anger, craving, and delusion in him. May I learn to identify and see the sources of anger, craving, and delusion in them.

May I know how to nourish the seeds of joy in myself every day. May I know how to nourish the seeds of joy in her every day. May I know how to nourish the seeds of joy in him every day. May I know how to nourish the seeds of joy in them every day. May I be able to live fresh, solid, and free. May she be able to live fresh, solid, and free. May he be able to live fresh, solid, and free. May they be able to live fresh, solid, and free. May I be free from attachment and aversion, but not be indifferent.

May she be free from attachment and aversion, but not be indifferent. May he be free from attachment and aversion, but not be indifferent. May they be free from attachment and aversion, but not be indifferent.

Before going to sleep at night, take a few minutes to review the day. “Did I live in the direction of my ideals today?” If you see that you took two or three steps in that direction, that is good enough. If you didn’t, say to yourself, “I’ll do better tomorrow.” Don’t compare yourself with others. Just look to yourself to see whether you are going in the direction you cherish. Take refuge in things that are solid.

“Breathing in, I’m aware of my heart. Breathing out, I smile to my heart with love.” My heart is essential to my well-being. It works nonstop and nourishes all the cells in my body. I’m so grateful to my heart. I get to rest and sleep, but my heart never stops. Yet I’ve done things to hurt my heart. I’ve drunk too much alcohol; I’ve smoked. I haven’t been very kind to my heart.” As you breathe in and out and embrace your heart with mindfulness, you can see things like this. This kind of insight can transform and heal. You know exactly what you should consume and what you should not consume