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When we learn to acknowledge, embrace, and understand our suffering, we suffer much less.
Mindfulness is the best way to be with our suffering without being overwhelmed by it. Mindfulness is the capacity to dwell in the present moment,
If we take care of the suffering inside us, we have more clarity, energy, and strength to help address the suffering violence, poverty, and inequity of our loved ones as well as the suffering in our community and the world. If, however, we are preoccupied with the fear and despair in us, we can’t help remove the suffering of others.
We ruminate on suffering, regret, and sorrow. We chew on them, swallow them, bring them back up, and eat them again and again. If we’re feeding our suffering while we’re walking, working, eating, or talking, we are making ourselves victims of the ghosts of the past, of the future, or our worries in the present. We’re not living our lives.
When we cut ourselves off from the pain in our mind, we’re also abandoning our bodies where suffering is being stored.
Electronic distractions not only fail to help heal the underlying suffering, they may contain stories or images that feed our craving, jealousy, anger, or despair. Instead of making us feel better, they numb us only briefly, then make us feel worse.
When suffering arises, the first thing to do is to stop, follow our breathing, and acknowledge it. Don’t try to deny uncomfortable emotions or push them down. Breathing in, I know suffering is there. Breathing out, I say hello to my suffering.
the first practice is to stop running, come home to our bodies, and recognize our suffering.
The practice of mindful breathing is essential, because it provides us with the energy we need for the other steps of taking care of suffering.
the energy of mindfulness keeps us from being overwhelmed by painful feelings.
The function of mindfulness is, first, to recognize the suffering and then to take care of the suffering.
the practice is not to fight or suppress the feeling, but rather to cradle it with a lot of tenderness.
Once you have offered your acknowledgment and care to this suffering, it naturally will become less impenetrable and more workable; and then you have the chance to look into it deeply, with kindness (but still always with a solid ground of mindful breathing to support you), and find out why it has come to you.
what nutriments and habits of consumption have been feeding your sorrow.
my tradition, every time we hear the bell, we pause. We stop moving, talking, and thinking, and we listen to the voice of the heart.
looking deeply you may see that this is the suffering of your ancestors, handed down from one generation to another, because no one knew how to recognize, embrace, and heal it. It’s not your fault, nor is it their fault.
The suffering of the parent is the suffering of the child. Looking deeply is a chance to transform and heal this suffering and stop the cycle.
If we haven’t taken the time to stop, come home to ourselves, and look deeply, we may not know what brings us our deepest happiness.
we should not try to run away from one unpleasant thing after another. Holding our suffering, looking deeply into it, and transforming it into compassion, we find a way to happiness.
The most effective way to show compassion to another is to listen, rather than talk.
the practice of compassionate listening, you listen with only one purpose, which is to give the other person the chance to speak out and to suffer less.
We can quickly conjure up a hell realm of negativity in our minds that multiplies the stress of the actual event, by ten times or even more.
Part of the art of suffering well is learning not to magnify our pain by getting carried away in fear, anger, and despair.
A suffering can arise—or can work itself out—for anyone at any moment.
As long as you continue to compare, you suffer from the fear of coming up short; and, even worse, you keep yourself trapped in a constant, painful delusion of isolation and alienation.
Every life has its trials and tribulations. We can navigate them more skillfully when we don’t waste time and energy shooting ourselves with a second arrow—such as dwelling on how much greener the grass in our neighbor’s yard looks, compared to ours.
Happiness is impermanent, like everything else. In order for happiness to be extended and renewed, you have to learn how to feed your happiness.
We can condition our bodies and minds to happiness with the five practices of letting go, inviting positive seeds, mindfulness, concentration, and insight.
We can selectively water the good seeds and refrain from watering the negative seeds. This doesn’t mean we ignore our suffering; it just means that we allow the positive seeds that are naturally there to get attention and nourishment.
don’t allow the painful feeling to overwhelm you or push you to react in a way that creates suffering for yourself and for others.
When a painful emotion comes up, stop whatever you’re doing and take care of it. Pay attention to what is happening. The practice is simple. Lie down, put your hand on your belly, and begin to breathe. Or you may sit on a cushion or on a chair. Stop thinking, and bring your mind down to the level of the navel.
