Modern Magic: A contemporary fantasy novel (Book One of the Modern Magic series)

by Beth Williams

harbouring under the same cheerful delusion in respect of

labouring under OR harbouring

less fun that it was supposed to be.

than

he could douse for water,

dowse

Still looking blanky at the ceiling,

blankly

he said he had sorted the procurement issue.

Uh-oh.

Asides from a few sporadically scheduled appraisals,

Aside

the tug she felt coming from the stones as they attempted to leach her power.

leech

“Are you ok,

OK

Every question I ask is circumnavigated.

circumvented

This was none more evident than when

never more

the Most Senior Masters had envious views of the Citadel,

enviable

would be the subject of intense suspicion and may

might

Ivy began, “whether it might have come from that…” Ivy said,

Only needs one speech tag, not two.

as of the remit of his original brief from the Regulator resurfaced

Omit first "of"

that not only was Hartley a client, but that

Omit second "that"

to say to diffuse the tension

defuse

couldn’t recall that had Dante mentioned her last name,

that Dante had

she can’t have been more than seven or eight years old

couldn't

A horrific, slow, keening noise

Omit second comma

misdemeanours and her subordination,

insubordination

a meadow resting aside a riverbank.

beside

They had ever-denied even the merest hint they may

No hyphen

magic had been leached away.

leeched

The creature looked momentarily winded as the energy stuck,

struck?

who were nursing bruised limbs, more importantly – at least as far as they were concerned – extremely bruised egos.

and more

You wanted to make sure the dragon wouldn’t.

Wouldn't what?

you can never really be sure what’s going to happen next, but you shouldn’t let that stop you from doing what feels right.

Theme!

large chunks of text crossed-through

Omit hyphen

casual approach to split infinitives patiently signposted (excluding the one above,

a) Not splitting an infinitive is a made-up rule of English, not a real rule. b) This sentence is not an example of one anyway, since "to" is functioning as a preposition, not part of the verb.