X Marks The Stalker: A Dark Romantic Comedy (The Hemlock Society Book 1)

by K.N. Wilder

If there’s a worse way to start your day than scraping intestines off your shoes, I’d love to hear it.

Well, fuck me sideways with a murder weapon. This is an unexpected plot twist.

Most people would call it stalking. I call it...selective admiration. Tomato, tomahto.

Different crimes require different candies. Bank fraud? Chocolate-covered espresso beans. Political corruption? Sour Patch Kids. But serial killers who arrange their victims like Renaissance paintings? That demands the nuclear option. Triple-sour gummy worms.

“So this is what a psychotic break feels like,” I mutter to my laptop. “Fascinating.”

“I’m going to die,” I whimper, feeling another pinch. “This is how it ends for me. Death by ass attack.”

“What in the Bob Ross happy little accident is this standoff?” he whispers.

Her smile widens as she watches my expression darken. “You’re cute when you’re angry.” “I’m not cute,” I growl, crossing the distance between us in two strides. “Serial killers aren’t cute. Puppies are cute. Babies are cute.”

“You’re mine, Oakley,” I whisper against her lips. “To love and to cherish. And I’m yours. You can have everything. My life, my heart. Everything.”