I open the kitchen drawer where I keep my emergency snacks, expecting to find chaos after Xander’s “optimization.” Instead, I find each category neatly labeled with tiny printed tags. Sugar Rush (Crisis Level: Deadline – When You’re One Paragraph Away From Missing Your Editor’s Third Extension) Sour Mood Lifters (Crisis Level: Frustration – Because Your Boyfriend Hacked Your Computer “For Security Reasons”) Caffeinated Courage (Crisis Level: 3 AM Deep Dive Into Financial Records That May Get Someone Killed) Salt & Crunch (Crisis Level: Stress-Eating While Your Boyfriend Is On a “Work Trip”
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