Please Don't Go (The Midnight Strike, #1)

by E. Salvador

“I’m here because despite what you believe, you’re not a problem and you’re not broken. I’m not trying to fix you. I just want you to know that I’m here for you. As a friend, as a person, as whatever you want me to be.

My face heats. “Why a duck?” Her gaze casts down, fingers now tracing over the letters. “You said you like yellow and the duck is yellow and well…you know the card is a given.” I’m speaking too fast. I need to calm down.

I’m here for you. I see you. You’re not alone. I’m so happy you’re here, Jos!

“Sto facendo di tutto per non baciarti in questo momento.” I lift a brow, holding back a smile. “Well? You know I have no idea what that means.” He stares at me for a long beat, his amber eyes holding me in place and burning me up. “I said, I hope you’re ready to eat.”

“Why are you looking at me like that?” “Because my mom would love you,” he says so matter-of-factly it sends a shiver down my spine.

“You’re really willing to spend the rest of your life with me?” I don’t know why I play along but I do. “Yes.” His knuckles brush against mine. My cheeks flame. “Are you sure you want that?” “I’m sure it’s what I need,” he instantly replies, not missing a beat.

“So, you want to get married and have kids?” “With you, yeah. Just tell me when and where and I’m yours forever.” Something sounds different now, but I’m sure I’m reading into it. “Be careful what you wish for.” “I know. That’s why I’m wishing for it.” His smile and eyes seem different. Even his voice sounds different.

I’ve never been someone who anyone needs and I almost wonder if this is a ploy to get me to come outside. But his handwriting is rushed, the ink seeps into the back of the paper, and the lines are indented from how heavy he was holding the pen. The other Post-its don’t look and feel like this.

“I needed this. I needed you,” he murmurs against my chest, the deep rasp of his voice vibrating against me.

“They matter too, you know.” I cradle his cheek, gently caressing it with the pad of my thumb. “You matter, Daniel.”

“You’re going to regret this and today⁠—” “I’m not going to regret this. I want you, Josefine, and I’m tired of pretending like I don’t.” He

Josie blinks, taken aback. “You want to marry me? Why?” she asks like the thought seems unfathomable, something she’s not entirely processing. “Because I see a life with you,” I say because I don’t want to lie. I don’t want to pretend like I haven’t thought about it. “Because you make sense. Because you make me happy and I hope I make you happy.”

“Because, Josefine, you’ve rewired the way I feel touch. Touching anyone that isn’t you feels overwhelming and so wrong. It’s like my brain can’t process that it’s not you. I don’t know how to make sense of that but I don’t want to touch anyone that isn’t you. You’re incomparable. And no, I haven’t touched anyone to find that out. I just know. I can’t and won’t touch anyone that isn’t you.

“You’re a big deal to me, so I’m going to make it one. And I want you to be clingy, just for once, be clingy for me, Jos.” I grimace, hoping that hides the blush on my face. “That’s embarrassing. No thank you.” “Can I be clingy?” “Aren’t you already?”

I like you, Josie, and I really want to stop pretending like I don’t.”

I’ve been thinking a lot about my feelings and you recently. I want you. I like you.”

I smile at her. “I’m strictly yours like I hope you’re strictly mine.” My heart thrashes, liking the sound of that. Her lips stretch into a small smile. “Strictly mine. Strictly yours.”

“I don’t like cuddling with anyone, but I really like it with you. I like doing things with you. So, uh, if you want to, you know, hold my hand, or hug me or even kiss me, you can. Whenever you want. If you want.”

“When I said I like you, I didn’t say that for the hell of it. When I said I like you, I meant I like every version of you. That includes all the moments whether they’re good or bad. That means all your little expressions, all your dry snarky comments, all your smiles, laughs, and everything that comes from you. I like it all, Josefine. I know it’s hard for you to open up. I know it’s scary and I know this is probably a lot for you, but I am here and as long as you want me in your life, I’m not going anywhere. So…” I bring my lips to her forehead and kiss it but let them linger there. “I’ll give you a moment. Take your time. I have forever.”

“Yeah?” I breathe easily. “What kind of things?” She nods. “Things like…waking up with you in the mornings. Sharing coffee with you. Talking to you. Being with you. You,” she shyly says, and I smile. “I feel the same way. I look forward to all things consisting of you.”

With everything still in his hands, he envelops me in a hug. It’s different from any other hug we’ve given each other. It’s all-consuming, and my heart, mind, and soul feel entwined to his.

“You don’t have to remain calm. You can let yourself feel whatever you want as long as you let me hold you.” I nod, drowning in an ocean of emotions. “I really like you a lot.”

“I’m not here because I fear it’ll happen. I’m here because I get it. I’m here because whether you want to admit it or not, you don’t want to be alone and you’re shit at communicating your feelings.”

“We know,” Vi starts, a warm smile on both their faces. “We don’t tell you we love you or hug you because we know it makes you uncomfortable and that’s the last thing we ever want to do.” “But,” Pen chimes in. “We love you and we want you to know that no matter what happens, we’ll always be here for you. We’ll always be in your life, and you can’t get rid of us, so don’t even try.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” Vi supplies, clutching my hand. “We just want you to know that we love you.” “We really do,” Pen says. “And that no matter what happens, it’s us against it all. You got us for life.”

They still want me for me. I’m enough for them. They’re going to stay.

“No. You electrified my soul. This is the most awake I’ve ever mentally felt.”

want us, this, everything, all of it. I need you. I’m not perfect and I have issues, a lot of them—that I’m working on—but I want to be here for you, Daniel. I want you to let me in and share your pain with me. Share what you feel on the good, bad, and in-between days. I told you once and I’ll tell you again: Don’t hide from me, please. Let me in.” “Even on the dark days?” His trembling voice drops an octave. I tug back, leveling my gaze with his amber eyes that fuel my soul on fire. “I’ll love you even on the dark days.”

“You sound like the girl I love.”

I know that you do, in the way you hold me, how you see me, how you let me in, how you accept me for me. You are loving, Josefine, and I’m privileged to be the one you choose to love.”

“Don’t cry, please. I don’t like seeing you sad.” “I’m okay. I promise I’m not sad; I just feel so much for you. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to express it the way that you do. But I’ll try to do my best to show you, to be here, to make sure you know that I see you. I want every version of you and nothing, and I mean literally nothing, will ever change how I feel about you. I’m not going anywhere. I promise you I’m not.”

“So clingy.” “You love me clingy.” He rests his forehead against mine. I comb my fingers through his hair, smiling hard. “I do. I really do.”

“Daniel?” “Yeah?” “I’m so happy we’re here.” She seals the space between our lips.