Please Don't Go (The Midnight Strike, #1)

by E. Salvador

To anyone who’s ever felt they didn’t deserve to be seen. I see you. I’m so happy you are here!

“I will miss you,” he says after a moment of silence. The words roll off his tongue casually, as if we’re friends. A cool breeze sweeps by us, and my skin pebbles, but it’s the effect of his words that cause the goose bumps to linger. I can’t remember the last time someone said that to me.

“My name is Daniel Garcia, but my friends call me Danny.” His words are soft, but friendly, laid-back almost as if he were talking to a friend. “And now you’re my friend, so call me Danny.”

“You can’t miss someone you don’t know,” I angrily snap. “Then let me know you,”

“Please don’t go. Please don’t go. Please don’t go…” Daniel chants under his breath over and over again. “Please don’t go.”

“Please don’t go,” he delivers incessantly, vigorously, but delicately. “Please, please, please don’t go.” He doesn’t just hold me; he embraces me. His chest is firmly pressed against my back, and I realize then that the loud drumming isn’t coming from the water. It’s coming from him. It’s his heart that’s racing at a dangerous speed, all too rapidly, all too thunderous against me. “Please don’t go.”

I hold her, wishing I could take all her pain away. I hold her like my life depends on it. I’ll hold her until morning if I have to. I’ll keep holding her until I can’t any longer because how the fuck am I supposed to let go?

“I couldn’t let you go.”

I hope I’m enough to anchor her, enough she can feel and understand that I’ll be her lifeline. I’ll be whatever she needs me to be if it means she’ll stay and not jump.

If you need anything, I’m just a text or call away. I’m so happy you’re here, Jos!

“We need names.” “Names?” “Yeah, all superheroes have one. We’ll need secret identities too. I’m no Clark Kent, but I can pull the hell out of some glasses.” I peek up then look back at my screen but do a double take on her face. I swear I just saw her lips crack a smidge. Did she smile? Holy shit, did I just make Josefine smile? It was hardly anything, but I know a smile when I see one. We’re only eight days into the year, but I think that’s probably going to be the highlight of it.

“We’re strangers.” “Friends.” “We can’t be friends. We don’t know anything about each other.” “At some point, you’re going to have to stop using that as an excuse.” She scoffs. “It’s not an excuse. And who said I wanted to be your friend?” “Everyone wants to be my friend,” I retort with a grin. When her eyes cast to it, she glowers, but then her face becomes blank. “They must feel bad for you.” “So, feel bad for me and be my friend.” “You’re annoying.” “You mean good looking?” She softly groans. “We’re getting off track.” “Put me back on it then. You’re kind of making it hard to focus.” My grin deepens.

“I want to meet the person who over inflated your ego. I need a word or two with them.” And I want to meet the person who fucked her over. I’ll have more than words with them.

I don’t know who gave up on her, but I know I won’t.

“Voy a ir contigo, aunque quieras o no. Y no discutas conmigo porque está conversión ya ha terminado. Sí me entendiste esta vez?” Wow. “¿Estás seguro?” “Contigo, siempre.”

Two words, that’s all they are, but they feel like more than that. They make my heart light up, as though a wick has been lit. The tiny flame warms and illuminates the middle of my cold, black heart.

“I’m here because despite what you believe, you’re not a problem and you’re not broken. I’m not trying to fix you. I just want you to know that I’m here for you. As a friend, as a person, as whatever you want me to be. I’m here for you, Josefine. Whoever or whatever made you believe that is wrong.”

La Patrona: Hola mijo como estás? Sé que estás bien ocupado, pero nomás quería saber cómo estás? Te extraño mucho y espero que estés bien

“What’s the special occasion?” You being alive. You being here. You letting me in. You.

I made her a card. On the front of it, there’s a yellow duck with a black top hat, black shades, gold leis around its neck, and a gold fringed noisemaker hanging from its beak. Next to it, it says, Have a Quacking New Year! On the inside, the duck looks like it’s passed out drunk, feet up in the air, and on the other side it reads, Here’s to making more bad quacking decisions! Happy New Year! Underneath that I wrote, And to making new friends. You can call me Danny now. She softly chuckles. Holy shit, I made her chuckle. Breathe. Calm down. She just chuckled. No big deal. No. Big. De—fuck, she chuckled. I did that.

I’m here for you. I see you. You’re not alone. I’m so happy you’re here, Jos!

“I got you,” I gently say, keeping my gaze on his apprehensive one. “I promise, Danny.”

“Sto facendo di tutto per non baciarti in questo momento.” I lift a brow, holding back a smile. “Well? You know I have no idea what that means.” He stares at me for a long beat, his amber eyes holding me in place and burning me up. “I said, I hope you’re ready to eat.”

I hope you enjoy, and I’m so happy you’re here! With love, Garcia

“Honey, I’m home!” Daniel greets and I’m met with the same playful smile when he enters the kitchen. “I’ve always wanted to do that.”

“Daniel?” “Yes, Josefine?” His voice is light and teasing but haughty. “Disrespectfully, fuck off.” Mine, not so much. He throws his head back and laughs. “I like it when you’re mean to me.” “I thought you were into being praised?” I say, a little quiet and playful. “I’m into anything you do,” he murmurs just as quietly and playfully. Then he winks at me and we part.

Is it really out of your system? It’s not out of mine.

My grumpy girl.

Grayson is close with Saint Arlo, a basketball player from North Carolina University. They went to some private middle and high school in Boston and have been friends ever since.

“I have something for you. I meant to give it to you a while ago, but with the moving and the season starting, I forgot.” “For me?” I take the white, square envelope and when I flip it around, I realize it’s a CD sleeve and there’s one in it. Danny’s Holy Grail of Happiness, is scribbled on with a green marker, I can only assume is Sharpie. “You burned me a disc?” He grabs both ends of the towel, nodding. “Something told me you’ve never had the privilege of downloading music illegally. I figured I’d bless you with a CD. And if you don’t like any of those songs, I don’t want to hear it. Matter of fact, you can’t dislike them.”

“You’re going to have to hold the cord just like this.” I show her how to hold the earbuds cord to the portable CD player. “Or the music will sound scratchy.” “Daniel…” She presses her lips together, amused eyes locked on my fingers twisting the cord. “Don’t you dare laugh.” Her chin quivers. “Josie, don’t.” Her nose twitches. “Josefine.” She rubs her nose, but I still hear the snicker she attempts to stifle. It’s soft, muffled, but then it snowballs out of her mouth and she’s laughing. “Your CD player privileges have been revoked.” I try to keep a serious face but she’s laughing and smiling. She sounds so pretty, so free, so her, I bask in the sound of it, forgetting for a moment what we were talking about.

Josie isn’t just some girl, she’s my girl.

My priorities have changed. I don’t want any of those things. I want you. I need you,

“Because, Josefine, you’ve rewired the way I feel touch. Touching anyone that isn’t you feels overwhelming and so wrong. It’s like my brain can’t process that it’s not you. I don’t know how to make sense of that but I don’t want to touch anyone that isn’t you.

“You’re a big deal to me, so I’m going to make it one. And I want you to be clingy, just for once, be clingy for me, Jos.”

“My heart begs for you.” “Maybe it’s heartburn?”

“I don’t like cuddling,” she says, and I tense, drawing my hands away but she stops me. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound so dry, and I didn’t mean I wanted you to move.” She pauses and exhales a shuddering breathing. “I don’t like cuddling with anyone, but I really like it with you. I like doing things with you. So, uh, if you want to, you know, hold my hand, or hug me or even kiss me, you can. Whenever you want. If you want.”

“I’m okay, I promise. You can leave. I’m not going to be mad. Like I said, I just need a minute. I’ll be all right.” “Here’s the thing, and listen to me closely…” I cup her jaw with both hands, staring at her red, tear-filled eyes. “When I said I like you, I didn’t say that for the hell of it. When I said I like you, I meant I like every version of you. That includes all the moments whether they’re good or bad. That means all your little expressions, all your dry snarky comments, all your smiles, laughs, and everything that comes from you. I like it all, Josefine. I know it’s hard for you to open up. I know it’s scary and I know this is probably a lot for you, but I am here and as long as you want me in your life, I’m not going anywhere. So…” I bring my lips to her forehead and kiss it but let them linger there. “I’ll give you a moment. Take your time. I have forever.” I kiss her forehead and let her go, but I don’t make it far before she’s clutching onto my hand. “Please don’t go,” she quietly pleads, clutching onto my hand hard. I wrap her up in a tight embrace, and she does the same. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Everything you do is beyond good. I don’t just mean this; I mean in everything. You are good, you are enough—as you are, and what you do—as you do it. It’s all good.”

“I know you’re lost in your head right now. I know it feels like a fucking maze and it’s dark too, but you’ll get out. You’ll find the exit. I promise you will. You just need to keep going. Follow the damn light, Daniel. We’ll be at the end waiting for you. Love you, man. We’re here for you.”

“Why are you being so nice to me?” He stares at me for a beat. “Because someone has to be. You won’t; you’re too hard on yourself.”

A voice in my head screams to stay in my spot, but my hands are moving of their own accord, wrapping around her until our bodies are flush against each other. “I thought you hated hugs?” Her voice quivers. “I’m trying out this new thing. Don’t get used to it,”

“We know,” Vi starts, a warm smile on both their faces. “We don’t tell you we love you or hug you because we know it makes you uncomfortable and that’s the last thing we ever want to do.” “But,” Pen chimes in. “We love you and we want you to know that no matter what happens, we’ll always be here for you. We’ll always be in your life, and you can’t get rid of us, so don’t even try.”

Like it doesn’t matter how unstable my emotions are, how awkward I am, how I’m not as bubbly as they are—they’re still here. They still want me for me. I’m enough for them. They’re going to stay.

Josie throws herself against me, circling her arms around my shoulders. She clutches onto me like she’s afraid I’ll let go of her, but she’s sorely mistaken if she believes I’ll ever let that happen.

“You really need to stop apologizing. I get it. I didn’t at first because of my own issues, but look at us. You’re not hiding. I’m not running. We’re here, together, and I’m not overthinking your hug and you’re not faking your smile for the sake of pretending to be happy. We’re far from perfect and we’ll never be and that’s okay. We’ll keep working things out, finding out what works and what doesn’t. And we’ll do it together.”

You make the world brighter and better! I’m so happy you’re here! With love, Jos<3

“Daniel?” “Yeah?” “I’m so happy we’re here.”