Please Don't Go (The Midnight Strike, #1)

by E. Salvador

“I’m not doing this because he slept with Amanda. Don’t get me wrong, I was pissed at first, but I genuinely don’t care anymore. I’m doing this because he fucked with you and that, I’m not okay with,” he gravely says.

“I will if I have to, but I’ll do whatever you want me to do.” “I just want you to be safe.” A smile so fucking warm and sweet blooms on his face, inciting the flame to grow. “Then I’ll stay.”

“If you want to help me, you’re going to have to let me help you” is what I settle on after a few minutes. “Huh?” “If you’re going to help me with my issue, I might as well help you with yours.

He slightly turns his body to face me. “Don’t be like that. I promise I’m not worth the time or trouble.” “I’m not your problem to fix, yet here you are for whatever reason trying to fix something that isn’t fixable.” He reaches out, covering his large palm over mine. “I’m here because despite what you believe, you’re not a problem and you’re not broken. I’m not trying to fix you. I just want you to know that I’m here for you. As a friend, as a person, as whatever you want me to be. I’m here for you, Josefine. Whoever or whatever made you believe that is wrong.”

The only thing that stands out, that wasn’t here last night is a Post-it note lying in the middle of the bed. When I pick it up and read it, my heart jolts. I’m so happy you’re here, Jos!

I made her a card. On the front of it, there’s a yellow duck with a black top hat, black shades, gold leis around its neck, and a gold fringed noisemaker hanging from its beak. Next to it, it says, Have a Quacking New Year! On the inside, the duck looks like it’s passed out drunk, feet up in the air, and on the other side it reads, Here’s to making more bad quacking decisions! Happy New Year! Underneath that I wrote, And to making new friends. You can call me Danny now. She softly chuckles. Holy shit, I made her chuckle.

I’ll be here whenever she’s ready. But if she’s not, at least she knows I’m here because that’s what I wrote. I’m here for you. I see you. You’re not alone. I’m so happy you’re here, Jos!

Looking at him dead in the eye, I ask, “What’s my favorite color?” He laughs. “Blue, why?” “It’s yellow.”

“You’re the first person he’s ever willingly allowed to help. You have to help him, please.”

She motions for me to come inside and I follow behind her, telling her, “I’m going to make you dinner.” There are instances where reading her is difficult, but then there are some moments her vulnerability seeps through, and reading her is as easy as breathing.

We were hiking when she said that. I was trying to get to know her as much as I could, asking her random questions here and there. “I don’t remember telling you that.” She looks into the bag, but I don’t miss the faint jerk of her lips. Fireworks. Every single time she does that. “I’m very good at paying attention. Not to brag or anything, but it’s what landed me captain and how I became shortstop.”

“I…” She trails off, her lips slowly curling upward into a small smile. Wow…whoa…whoa. I don’t blink or breathe, afraid it’ll disappear or this is all a dream, but when she locks eyes with me, her small smile just barely deepens, and I swear my brain short-circuits. Why was I anxious again? “I figured you could use them. I know it’s been a week, but sometimes the smallest cuts take the longest to heal.” My gaze drops to her plush lips. “And I wasn’t sure if you had a lemon squeezer, but if you do, now you have another so the other doesn’t feel lonely.”

“I’m not going to force you to do something you’re not ready to do. But I want you to know that if you want this, I will help you.” I’m a little at a loss for words because where I’m usually riddled with so much anxiety, the fear paralyzes me, I don’t necessarily feel that right now. Maybe it’s my sweaty palm that she feels or how tightly I’m gripping hers, but she squeezes my hand and stares at me so deeply, her eyes become engraved in my brain. “I got you,” she softly and earnestly says, but more than anything, it sounds like a promise and I believe her.

He was and has been there for me. The least I can do is return the favor. “Did you just call me Danny?” “Yes, but I think I like Garcia better.” A smile grows on his face.

I can’t help but smile a little at that and I don’t miss the way his eyes drop to my lips. “Cute.” “You called me cute; you can’t take it back.” “Are you always misinterpreting things?

He goes silent, eyes shifting to the pool and back up at me. “Are you sure I won’t be bothering you?” “I have no life, so I promise you’re not.” “You understand I’m going to consume your life? It’s going to get so bad, you’re going to get sick of me.”

I wish I could make my brain cut the wire that seems dead set on being attached to him.

Grief…never gets easier. It keeps evolving and all you can do is adapt to it because it’s always going to be there.”

“I don’t have an emergency contact but⁠—” “Put me down,” he casually supplies and grabs the masher just as casually. Actually, everything he’s doing seems like something he regularly does.

“No, I don’t want to—that’s not necessary.” He mashes the potatoes, hardly adding pressure, but it’s enough to make his biceps flex. I bite the inside of my cheek and force myself to look away. “You don’t want to what?” he presses, insistent as always. Be a bother. Annoy you more than I already have. Inconvenience you. “It’s not necessary.” “Mmm, I disagree. I think it’s very necessary. Put me in your phone.”

“You made this for me?” I hold back my smile at the piece of toast with the words, Here’s A Toast, above it. “Yeah, I’m not super creative or funny like you, but I tried,” she quickly says like she’s embarrassed. “I think you’re funny.” She rolls her eyes, but I spot a small tilt to her lips and that makes me smile. When I direct my attention back to the card and open it, my breath hitches at the silver key taped on one side. On the other side, it says, To Your New Toaster. The bottom has two different toasters drawn inside that look like little homes. One is old with two slots for bread, while the other is new with four slots.

I hope you enjoy, and I’m so happy you’re here! With love, Garcia

“Honey, I’m home!” Daniel greets and I’m met with the same playful smile when he enters the kitchen. “I’ve always wanted to do that.” I take him in, trying to absorb the fact that he’s not only here but he has a large duffle bag that looks heavy and full. “What are you doing here?” His eyes bulge. “Please don’t tell me that I just made a fool out of myself. Were you kidding about the key because I can leave. I—I’m sorry, I didn’t⁠—” “No, wait. The key wasn’t a joke.”

“I don’t want to take your food. I made that for you,” he says, and not a second later, his stomach is grumbling loud. I give him a pointed look, letting him know I’m not going to argue with him. “Thanks, Jos.” He tenderly smiles at me. “I should probably go put this away.” He pats his duffle. “Same room?” I nod. “Same room.” “Be back, roomie.” He winks at me before he’s casually walking away as if he’s been here plenty of times before. As if this is an everyday occurrence, something he’s used to.

I scoff. “You don’t have to worry about that because if your mom ever met me, she’d tell you to run.” He studies me, taking in my words, then his eyes sweep over me. My brows scrunch together. “Why are you looking at me like that?” “Because my mom would love you,” he says so matter-of-factly it sends a shiver down my spine.

“I never thought you’d ask.” He flashes me a haughty smile. “But listen, I’m all for women taking the lead. I’m a supporter and all, but if anyone is going to propose, it’ll be me.” “You’re really willing to spend the rest of your life with me?” I don’t know why I play along but I do. “Yes.” His knuckles brush against mine. My cheeks flame. “Are you sure you want that?” “I’m sure it’s what I need,” he instantly replies, not missing a beat.

“Oh God.” I roll my eyes, ignoring the way I’m burning. “So, you want to get married and have kids?” “With you, yeah. Just tell me when and where and I’m yours forever.” Something sounds different now, but I’m sure I’m reading into it. “Be careful what you wish for.”

“Don’t laugh.” “Why would I?” “I don’t know how to use a dishwasher,” I admit and point an accusatory finger at her when I spot the slight twitch of her lips. “You said you wouldn’t laugh.” “I’m not laughing.” She raises a hand in surrender but still I hear the humor shining in her tone.

Me: Be there in 30 mins. Is that alright? Josie: Yeah. Please drive carefully Garcia! Me: I will. I promise “I’ll see you guys later.” I climb out of the tub. More questions get thrown my way, but I can’t focus on a single one. “It’s Josie, isn’t it?” is what Gray asks. I don’t mean to give myself away, but I tense. “I fucking knew it.” I hear the smirk in his voice as I walk away.

“It’s okay, Josie. I’m right here.” I don’t fight him when he wraps an arm around my shoulder and the other around my front, hauling me to him. He holds me firmly, letting me break down in his arms. He doesn’t ask me what’s wrong or badger me with questions. He only rubs my arm until I’m sniffling.

It just feels nice having someone here. Sure, when he’s not, it’s quiet, but it’s not the same silence as before. It’s a different kind of silence, like the kind you know is temporary. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I look forward to hearing his alarm in the morning.

“It’s not that I like having you here, but you cook. So don’t get it twisted. That’s the only reason why I want you here.” “Mm-hmm, right. I’m going to pretend you don’t enjoy my presence as much as I enjoy yours.” He grins. “You enjoy my presence?” I make it sound playful but really, I’m a little desperate to hear him say yes. Because as stupid as it’s going to sound, I want to hear someone say it again. Someone to say how much they like being around me. “Yes.” He doesn’t miss a beat when he answers. “I love being around you and doing things with you. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”

This time, I smile and his eyes don’t miss it. They never do. “So…you really want to move in?” “How much would you judge me if I told you my car is sort of packed?” My lips part in surprise. “You have stuff in your car?” “Just a few necessary things.”

“Babe, that ship sailed a long time ago. You’re stuck with me for life. Remember we’re in the dead mom’s club. I don’t make the rules, so get used to me.” I can’t help but smile this time. “Wow, look at that. So she does smile.”

Besides teaching him how to swim, it’s been a while since I felt like this. Although I’m not sure if I can really say a while because I can’t remember the last time I actually felt human. Like I’m in my body and not outside of it, watching life happen around me. The void in my chest is nowhere near or even halfway full, but I feel something enough that I don’t dread waking up in the mornings. I don’t know what to call that, but I feel…okay.

“I told you I haven’t, but the game is pretty easy when you’re not playing by the rules.” She has, but they don’t need to know that. “I don’t like to lose, so I don’t,” I add. He scoffs. “Are y’all saying I suck?” “Yes,” Kainoa and Daniel fill in for us. “You’re just not that good, Gray.

“You’re abandoning me?” Daniel playfully asks. “Just for a little. I’m kind of curious.” “About?” “How many wins it’ll take before you call it quits.” There he goes, flashing me his crooked grin. Fuck, my heart. “Cute,” he patronizingly drawls. “So, this is what the game has done to you?” “The game? No, I’m just a confident person who never loses.”

“Go find him.” Vienna clings to the end of the pool, her tail flowing back and forth. God, she’s so natural at this, she almost looks like the real thing. No wonder kids eat this up. I am. “Who?” She gives me this I’m not stupid look. “You’ve been here for hours helping me. I promise I’ll be okay. I’ve got Carson anyway. So go.” She flicks water at me.

White dots dance in my vision, my heart and lungs slowly shutting down from the lack of oxygen until I lock eyes with my favorite pair.

“I didn’t mean to ambush you. You looked a little in distress and thought maybe you’d⁠—” I force a chuckle. “Why would you think that?” She tucks a wisp of her hair behind her ear. “You looked anxious.” “Me, anxious?” Blood roars in my ears and my hands become clammy again. “I don’t know why you’d think that but I’m good. My parents just like to ask a million questions.” “You know you can be honest with me. I won’t judge.”

“She’s really pretty.” She is, she really fucking is. “Mom, please stop. We’re friends and roommates.”

His footsteps grow closer and just when I think I’ll hear his door shut, I hear a knock on mine. “Josie.” I don’t make a sound or a move. It’s childish to ignore him, but I really don’t want to talk to him right now. “I know you’re awake.” Not sure how he would know that, but I still ignore him and stay silent. “Your light,” he explains as if he could hear my thoughts. Right, dammit. “Good night.”

I’m sorry Josefine! “Daniel,” I grumble but my lips appallingly tilt up. “I told you⁠—” Another Post-it note is slipped underneath my door. I’m not talking. I’m communicating with you. They don’t mean the same thing “I still don’t⁠—” And another. I’m sorry for being an asshole!

“How many of these do you have?” Tons! I can do this all night “I thought it was a long and busy day? Aren’t you tired?” I repeat what he said to me earlier. Never for you. I’m sorry about earlier. I promise I was on my way to find you, but my parents found me. Then I almost got into it with my dad. I’m sorry for being an asshole.

“Yeah, you were an asshole,” I mutter, dropping to the floor and sitting next to the door. I hear noise on the other side and I’m certain he’s doing the same thing followed by a chuckle. You’re not supposed to agree with me “Just repeating what you said.” Can I talk now? I can’t stop myself from smiling. “No, I like you like this.”

He chuckles again. Does this mean I’m forgiven? “Let me think about it…” My voice carries a slight tease until I think about the email and his parents. “Do you want to talk about the email and your parents?” No. He quickly slips the Post-it under the door and then another. I really don’t want to talk about either

I rest my head against the door. “You know, I see you. You can act like whatever you feel doesn’t matter, but it does.” I have no idea where that came from, but it only encourages me to keep going. For a long moment I don’t hear anything or get a note from him. “Garcia, you there?” I sit on my knees, my hand reaching for the doorknob until another Post-it is slipped underneath. I really need you.

This isn’t the time to gawk! He holds the note up for me to read. I’m so happy you’re here!

“They matter too, you know.” I cradle his cheek, gently caressing it with the pad of my thumb. “You matter, Daniel.”

I exhale a breath, my stomach intensely fluttering. “Yeah…I do.” Angel smiles, clicking his tongue. “You’re so fucking cute. You’re going to make me throw up.”