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I once had a thousand desires, But in my one desire to know you, all else melted away. Jalal al-Din Rumi
“But understand this: no matter how many perfect young women you put in my path, there is only one Shahrzad.” At that, he cast the scroll to the floor and whirled on his heel, slamming his palms into the doors to thrust them aside.
For without a measure of arrogance, how can one attempt the impossible?”
“So then a lack of decorum just comes with your sense of comfort.” “Inasmuch as bitter apathy does yours.”
Love is a force unto itself, sayyidi. For love, people consider the unthinkable . . . and often achieve the impossible. I would not sneer at its power.” The caliph held her gaze. “I am not sneering at its power. I am lamenting its role in this story.” “You are saddened by love’s importance in the emir’s life?” He paused. “I am frustrated by its importance in all our lives.”
“You’re right,” Shahrzad murmured. “I should not have said that.” He inhaled through his nose. An odd stillness seemed to stretch over the room. “And I should not have interrupted you. I’m sorry,” he whispered. Shahrzad wound the scarlet fringe of the pillow tight between her fingers. “Please continue,” he said. She looked up at him and nodded.
“It’s never been a question of who is going to let me behave a certain way; it’s always been a question of who is going to stop me. I thank you for answering it.”
“Don’t hate him too much, delam . . .” Shahrzad buried her face in Jalal’s shirt as he lifted her from the ground. “After all, every story has a story.”
“This morning, I was not where I should have been. Last night, I was not where I wanted to be.”
His hands tightened at her waist. He lowered his head and pressed his brow to hers, his touch as soft and gentle as a whisper. “My Mountain of Adamant.”
She wanted to kiss him. No. It was one thing to return his kiss; she’d been prepared for that. But it was another thing entirely to want his kiss . . . another thing entirely to desire his affections. To melt into the arms of Shiva’s killer at the first sign of adversity.
“Perhaps you’re right. I could see her daring a cobra to strike, swearing her venom would kill first.” Tariq smiled. “And she would win.”
“And I would argue the prettiest flowers are the ones that seem a little imperfect.”
When he was older, she told him stories every night before he went to sleep. And Khalid loved her more than anything.”
I am young, and, therefore, I know my words only carry a certain weight with the world, but I do know enough to realize you cannot control the actions of others. You can only control what you do with yourself afterward.”
But as you are young, I am old, and in my age, wisdom becomes less of a birthright and more of an expectation. In my life, the one thing I have learned above all is that no individual can reach the height of their potential without the love of others. We are not meant to be alone, Shahrzad. The more a person pushes others away, the clearer it becomes he is in need of love the most.”
And now that bond extends beyond this mere twist of fate. I beseech you, my star . . . please see past the darkness. There is potential for boundless good in the boy I knew. Trust that the man you see now is a shadow of what lies beneath. If you would, give him the love that will enable him to see it for himself. To a lost soul, such a treasure is worth its weight in gold. Worth its weight in dreams.”
“Let it take you where your heart longs to be.”
And it absolutely did not matter that her heart was . . . misbehaving.
What kind of loveless childhood did he have?
“Do you want me to pity you, sayyidi?” “Do you want to pity me, Shahrzad?” “No. I do not.” “Then don’t.”
“I agree. I am indebted to you. I accept.” Shahrzad beamed. His eyes widened at the brightness of her smile. And, to her great surprise, he offered her one in return. It looked foreign on his usually cold and angular face. Foreign, yet wondrously striking. The tightening in her chest . . . would have to be ignored. At all cost.
“Shazi. It suits you.”
He pulled her closer against him. “Have I seen you before, miss? I would not forget such beauty.” “No, you have not,” Khalid said in a low tone. The young man smirked back at him. “I am not having a conversation with you. I am having a conversation with the most beautiful girl I have seen in a long time.” “No. You are having a conversation with my wife. And you are quite close to having the last conversation of your life.” His voice was as cold as the edge of a dagger.
“Daughter of a whore,” he muttered. Khalid froze, his knuckles turning a perilous shade of white. Shahrzad grabbed his arm and dragged him away. She could see the muscles ticking along his jaw.
“Is that kind of disrespect . . . normal?” Shahrzad lifted a shoulder. “It’s not normal. But it’s not unexpected. It’s the curse of being a woman,” she joked in a morose manner. “It’s obscene. He deserves to be flogged.”
Khalid stayed silent for a moment. “You have a beautiful laugh. Like the promise of tomorrow.” He said it gently, with the poise of an afterthought. And Shahrzad’s heart hurtled about in response, roaring for attention.
In what world do you think I would prefer you to any man, grumpy or not?”
When the sounds faded away, he removed his finger from her lips. But it was too late. Because Shahrzad could feel his heart beating faster. Just like hers.
“See? That mouth.” He reached up and grazed his thumb across her lips. “That—magnificent mouth.” Her traitor heart thudded against his, and when she peered up at him through her eyelashes, his hand at the small of her back pulled her impossibly closer. Don’t kiss me, Khalid. Please . . . don’t.
“Have a care, grumpy. Before she ruins you, too.” He left, choking on his wounds.
He took a step toward her. His gaze swept down her body, searing wherever it touched.
“You are—remarkable. Every day, I think I am going to be surprised by how remarkable you are, but I am not. Because this is what it means to be you. It means knowing no bounds. Being limitless in all that you do.” With each word, he broke past every barrier, every wall. And Shahrzad’s will fought him, screamed a silent scream, while her heart welcomed the intrusion as a songbird welcomes the dawn. As the dying find grace in an answered prayer. She closed her eyes, clenching the useless bow and arrow.
When she opened them again, he was standing before her. “I didn’t like it when you called me your friend,” he said, a light in his amber eyes. He raised both palms to either side of her face, angling her chin upward.
“What are you doing to me, you plague of a girl?” he whispered. “If I’m a plague, then you should keep your distance, unless you plan on being destroyed.” The weapons still in her grasp, she shoved against his chest. “No.” His hands dropped to her waist. “Destroy me.” The bow and arrow clattered to the ground as he brought his mouth to hers. And there was no turning back.
When she wound her fingers in his hair to draw her body against his, he stilled for breath, and she knew, as he knew, that they were lost. Lost forever. In this kiss. This kiss that would change everything.
Khalid’s gaze leveled to hers. “He sees a threat.” “Why does he see a threat?” “Because he doesn’t understand you.”
He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her brow. “Sleep well, Shazi.” His hand skimmed to her waist, as if seeking permission. Shahrzad drew a quick breath. This is madness. He makes me weak. He makes me forget. I should push him away.
He stood outside her doors. Torn. It was a familiar stance for him of late. He despised it.
The callous granite and blue-veined agate of his palace had provided little but a refuge for the screams of ghosts. A haven for nightmares . . . Until Shahrzad. A true plague of a girl. And yet a queen in every sense of the word. His queen.
“There will be no further attempts on her life.”
Furthermore, I will treat any effort to subvert this order as a direct attempt on my own life.
“She will be your undoing.” “That is my decision.”
You cannot withstand this. Do not allow this brazen young girl to become a source of ruination.” Khalid gazed across the table at his uncle. “I’ve made my decision.”
“You will not be able to withstand it. Even now, I can see the toll it is taking on you.” “Again. My decision.”
But I must know—is she worth this risk?” Khalid raised his head, his eyes reflecting a fiery orange in the flickering lamplight. “In truth? I don’t know . . .” The shahrban’s shoulders sagged. “But I do know I can’t remember the last time I wanted something so much,” he finished in a quiet voice.
Your eyes search for him the moment they leave this room.”
There was no logical explanation for it, but she felt his presence behind her, like the subtle change in the seasons. A shift in the wind. This was not necessarily a welcome change. She did not suffer that kind of delusion. Not yet. But even the moment when the leaves fall from their boughs—even that moment—has a beauty to it. A glory of its own. And this change? This change made her shoulders tense and her stomach spin. It was real . . . and terrifying.
Once more, she curved the scimitar at him, and he blocked it, grasping her by the waist and bringing the flat of the shamshir against her throat. In her ear, he whispered, “Do better than this, Shazi. My queen is without limitations. Boundless in all that she does. Show them.” Her pulse raced at his warmth. In the words and the actions. The nearness of him.
When Shahrzad looked at Khalid again, his eyes were alight with an emotion she recognized. Pride. And the moment felt so terrifyingly real that the thought of anything destroying it cinched the air from her body . . . Like a silk cord around her neck.
