“I want you. I’ve done all of this”—I spread my arms out wide—“for you. So we can finally be together. We’re soulmates. I felt it the moment I laid eyes on you. That unbreakable connection. We’re meant to be together, and nothing and no one will stop us. Our hearts are intertwined. Bound together by forces beyond our control. It’s destiny. Don’t you see? Fate.” He stared at me, mouth slightly agape in what I could only describe as befuddlement. “Oh. You’re like, insane insane.” “I prefer the term mentally spicy
