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I’ve been disappointing a lot of people recently—scratch that, I’ve been disappointing everyone.
All this time I thought I needed to be strong, needed to be her rock and support system, especially after what happened with my father. But until she whispered those words, I never realized I was robbing her of one of her most prized jobs in this life. I need to let her still be my mom.
My jaw opens and closes like a fish flailing out of water because I have no idea what to say to her. What do you say to the most beautiful woman to ever exist? Suddenly, my hands become damp and my chest tightens. Wait, am I…nervous?
“Set us up?” Her eyes widen. “Grayson, I’m not a hookup or a date. I’m your goddamn assistant.” She huffs, muttering under her breath, “And now I’m starting to realize why the job pays so high.”
I thought once he put clothes on and covered up the six-pack, I would be able to concentrate on my job and not the way his skin seemed to glisten and glow. Then the bastard came downstairs in gray sweatpants—I repeat, gray sweatpants. Doesn’t he know that’s every woman’s kryptonite?
Where did this man come from? And why couldn’t I have met him before my father showed me that you can never trust a man with your heart? Perhaps then he would have burrowed too deep into my emotions I couldn’t let him go.
God, what has she done to me? Why is my chest constricting and my stomach flipping at the idea of her honey-brown eyes never locking on mine again?
On one particular day, he left me two notes, one on the whiteboard and another tucked under my favorite candle in his house. It was a compliment of the sweater I had worn the day prior. And if I didn’t know any better, I’d say his writing was a little shakier than normal. I’d do unspeakable things to see you in red again.
“Are you usually an affectionate person?” I ask coolly. “Tremendously.” Oh, sweet heavens.
“See something you like?” “Everything,” I answer truthfully. A smile spreads across her cherry-red lips. “An honest man, it seems.” “Always. I was taught honesty is the best policy.”
Grayson stiffens beside me, a flush working its way along his cheeks. I’d never tell him, but it’s the most endearing thing about him. Usually men are hard to read, and sure, Grayson has moments that make me puzzled, but it’s something special when a person wears their heart on their sleeve.
It’s going to take all my willpower not to fall for this man. And every ounce of my brain power to remind myself that everything happening between us is fake.
Cindy sticks out her tongue next to me and we burst out chuckling. But my laughter dies as Grayson turns, revealing the jersey number 33. Three. My lucky number, and yet the one that drives me insane on a daily basis. My heart lurches, beating a thousand beats a minute as the team skates over to the home bench.
Cindy sighs. “Nothing is sexier than a man playing hockey.” I think of a million things that make men sexy to counteract that statement. A fireman uniform, the veins on men’s hands, how they lift their shirts to wipe the sweat away, gray sweatpants… The list continues to build in my mind until Grayson steps onto the home bench, smiling. Perhaps Cindy is on to something.
I haven’t smiled like this in over a year and it’s all because of her. We might be lying to those around us, the relationship might be fake, but to me… To me, it feels entirely different.
She steps forward as I continue to challenge her, but suddenly, I don’t care what the topic is. Bella standing between my legs, her arms crossed over her chest and her cheeks flushed with determination, is the most attractive sight I’ve ever witnessed.
“I think we should practice first,” he says gruffly, his voice so deep my toes curl. “I agree,” I breath. “We don’t want to stumble around awkwardly—” “They’ll know it’s our first time,” he cuts in. “Precisely.” His eyes grow hooded. “We can’t have that.” “No, not at all,” I practically purr. His breathing has grown labored, and his eyes haven’t left my lips this entire time. “Should we practice now?” he asks. “Ye—” I don’t finish the word before Grayson’s lips are smashing against mine.
I’m desperate for another kiss. Utterly desperate.
“She’s like a wildfire. A burning blaze that I have no plans of extinguishing. I don’t care if I get burnt, so long as I can be near her.”
Kieran clutches his chest as if wounded, his jaw open a little as he turns to us. “I’m going to marry that woman.”
Layla shakes her head. “I don’t think so. You should see how that man stares at you,” she says wistfully. “How does he stare at me?” “Like you’re his reason for breathing.”
“Tell me to stop,” I breathe. “Because I can’t do it by my own willpower.” Bella swallows thickly before tilting her head up more, a thousand thoughts floating behind those honey-brown eyes. “Just for practice, right?” Something crumbles in my chest but I don’t let her see it, not when I’ll take the scraps she gives me. I’ll take anything over nothing. “If that’s what you have to tell yourself,” I murmur, our lips a hair’s breadth away. “Is that not what you tell yourself?” “No.”
The sight of it has my stomach flipping. I never want to come home to an empty house again. I don’t want to come home to anyone but them.
can’t help but state the obvious. “You’re staring.” His gravelly, rough reply has a flame igniting in my belly. “I can’t stop.”
I stare at her. I stare at this beautiful woman, cradling my broken heart in her hands and ever so softly trying to repair it, and it’s in this moment that I realize how much I love her.
It’s not just any oversized jersey she’s wearing. It’s mine. My name across her back. My number across her midsection. And my fucking jersey teasing the skin along her thighs.
At first, I think I’ve intruded. I mean, what the hell am I doing here? I’m not his real girlfriend, but before those thoughts and insecurities can take flight, Grayson is striding across the room, still in his hockey kit, and scooping me into his arms. A loud humph flies from my chest at how tightly he squeezes me. “I’m sorry, I’m sweaty. I just…need to hold you.”
He has loved me on days that I couldn’t get out of bed. He has loved me on the days that I was smiling and laughing, only to fall apart crying. He has loved me through the days I didn’t want to eat. He has loved me through the highest of highs and lowest of lows.
It’s the only time she leaves me. As if she can sense the shift that he needs someone beside him as he gardens.
We’re always there for one another. No matter what. Blowing out a breath, I tear my gaze from my two favorites and look down at the letter with my mom’s handwriting. When you’re ready to love.
You met Grayson at a time in your life when you were both going through hell. You both met when life was kicking you until you felt like you couldn’t rise again. You have both proven to each other that you can weather the storms life throws at you. And once you let go, that man will catch you and treat you right. Let yourself feel love, Bella. It’s the most precious thing we can experience in life. Forever and always, my love, Mom
When Grayson suggested planting the tree to honor Drew and my mom, the idea felt so right I was instantly on board, both of us searching for the tree that felt right. Now we don’t have to go and visit them in a graveyard. They’re right here, in our home, watching over us from afar, and nothing has ever felt more perfect.
Grayson swears up and down that our PR relationship was the best thing Lucy ever did for him and I can’t help but agree because who would have thought signing a hefty NDA and being paid to pretend date an NHL hockey player would lead me to the love of my life?
“Why do you call me Blaze?” I ask suddenly. “Took you long enough to ask.” I nudge his shoulder with mine. “I thought you’d tell me eventually.” “I thought it was obvious,” he says with a shrug. “Humor me.” He pulls his eyes away from the sunset to look down at me. His hand reaches up to place a piece of my hair behind my ear before sliding down my cheek ever so delicately. “Because you’re the blazing fire that rekindled life within my heart, and I never want your flame to be extinguished.”
