Hot to Go

by Kristen Bailey

‘No, you hide under kaftans, sarongs, sundresses. Beach cover-ups? Have you noticed, they don’t have those for men? Men never have to cover up. They can let their bowling ball paunches and hairy cracks hang out for the world to see but women are never allowed the same luxury. They tell us we have to hide.’

How do I say we had a mega shag but now he’s left me for dust?

It makes my penis sad and I didn’t think my penis could have feelings like that.

I fucking love laminating.

I don’t think she’s a very good dancer. I’m not sure I care.

Because it turns out hot is overrated. It’s about a love that lasts through all seasons. Times where we can occasionally get naked and eat ice creams together when Brooke and Sam are out, where we can smile at each other in the mirror when we’re brushing our teeth and I can hug him from behind when he’s doing the washing up.