The Way I Used to Be (The Way I Used to Be, #1)

by Amber Smith

She turns and smiles. “Waiting for what?” “I don’t know. Life to begin? For something to happen!” I shout, hearing my voice echo. “What are you talking about? We’re still waiting for that!” she shouts back, into the night sky.

Five minutes. Three hundred seconds, that’s all it is. It can seem like a short amount of time or a long amount of time, depending on what’s happening. You press the snooze button and wake up five minutes later—that’s no time at all. But if you’re giving a speech at the front of the classroom with all those eyes on you, or you’re getting a cavity filled, then five minutes can feel like a long time. Or say you’re being humiliated and tortured by someone you trusted, someone you grew up with, someone you loved, even… five minutes is forever. Five minutes is the rest of your entire fucking stupid life.

“Everything will be okay” always sounds like a generic, useless thing that people just say when there’s nothing else to be said for a situation, but those words coming out of her mouth—it sounds like the most profound thing anyone has ever said in the history of humankind.

“I don’t know. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Edy.” He looks me in the eye. “I’m your brother. And I love you. That’s all. I don’t know what else to say.” I think that’s really all I ever wanted to hear from him. “You’ll stay with me when I tell Mom and Dad?” He nods. “Yeah.”