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It speaks of unfinished business. It whispers, I can find you. I can reach you. Perhaps I am watching you now.
“Oh, no. It costs a lot more than your life. To murder innocent people?” says Peeta. “It costs everything you are.” “Everything you are,” repeats Caesar quietly.
“Why do you think he said it?” “He might have been tortured. Or persuaded. My guess is he made some kind of deal to protect you. He’d put forth the idea of the ceasefire if Snow let him present you as a confused pregnant girl who had no idea what was going on when she was taken prisoner by the rebels. This way, if the districts lose, there’s still a chance of leniency for you.
“Katniss … he’s still trying to keep you alive.”
What am I going to do?
“I’m going to be the Mockingjay.”
“Just one more thing. I kill Snow.”
“You know what I miss? More than anything? Coffee. I
That stings, because, in fact, I am, and it’s ridiculous. I struggle to find a logical position.
In other words, I step out of line and we’re all dead.
“It’s meant to be pretty,” whispers Octavia, and I can see the tears threatening to spill over her lashes. Posy considers this and says matter-of-factly, “I think you’d be pretty in any colour.”
Not his fault. Only self-defence. We were all acting only in self-defence…
But I don’t know what to tell him about the aftermath of killing a person. About how they never leave you.
behind me and says with a hint of his old humour, “They’ll either want to kill you, kiss you, or be you.”
“May the odds be ever in your favour!”
“People of Panem, we fight, we dare, we end our hunger for justice!”
have to remind myself that I don’t care.
“So, the question is, what do all of these have in common?” “They were Katniss’s,” says Gale quietly. “No one told her what to do or say.” “Unscripted, yes!”
It has to come from her. That’s what people are responding to.”
I was their Mockingjay long before I accepted the role.
“And if we burn, you burn with us!”
I clap, too, until I realize I’m the on-camera talent and maybe it’s obnoxious that I’m applauding for myself, but no one’s paying attention.
“While I was waiting … I ate your lunch.”
“I knew you’d kiss me.” “How?” I say. Because I didn’t know myself. “Because I’m in pain,” he says. “That’s the only way I get your attention.” He picks up the box. “Don’t worry, Katniss. It’ll pass.” He leaves before I can answer.
“Katniss, I don’t think President Snow will kill Peeta,” she says. Of course she says this; it’s what she thinks will calm me. But her next words come as a surprise. “If he does, he won’t have anyone left you want. He won’t have any way to hurt you.”
“Whatever it takes to break you.”
What will break me?
the light goes out completely, Buttercup’s temporarily
It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart.”
Peeta might have saved them. Add their names to the list of things I can never stop owing him for.
Designed to unhinge me.
It’s impossible to be the Mockingjay. Impossible to complete even this one sentence. Because now I know that everything I say will be directly taken out on Peeta. Result in his torture. But not his death, no, nothing so merciful as that. Snow will ensure that his life is much worse than death.
“You know who else, Katniss. You know who stepped up first.” Of course I do. Gale.
Today I might lose both of them.
Finnick was someone bought and sold. A district slave. A handsome one, certainly, but in reality, harmless.
They say, they say, they say … Snow has a list and no one knows who will be next.
I search my heart, but at the moment the only person I can feel creeping up on me is Snow.
Peeta.
It isn’t possible. For someone to make Peeta forget he loves me … no one could do that.
I will kill you.
Not only does he hate me and want to kill me, he no longer believes I’m human. It was less painful being strangled.
This is one of his death traps.