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Because I’d never been able to escape the feeling that, at some point, all of it was going to end.
So they created the Trials of Ascension. Every decade, those with gifts were gathered, tested, broken down, and rebuilt in the gods' image. A few would ascend to join the pantheon. The rest would die, their power reclaimed by the Aesymar.
"Him. Olinthar." The name felt strange on my tongue. It was the first time I'd said his name aloud in years. The King of Gods himself, ruler of the Twelve Aesymar, master of light. The creature who had sired us.
For a moment, I let myself imagine what it would be like to be the kind of woman someone could love without reservation. One who didn't carry secrets—who could give her heart freely instead of sharpening it like a weapon.
"Osythe lives with her lover in Draknavor now," Dorna finished. "Their son ascended in the last Trials—Xül, Warden of the Damned.
The last thing I saw was the blade reflecting the firelight as it fell toward the man who had raised me, loved me and protected me for twenty-six years. Then darkness took me, merciful and complete, stealing away the sight of my father's blood and the sound of my brother's screams.
The sound hit me first—a wet, horrible tearing that echoed through the arena. His body imploded, pieces flying in all directions. Blood sprayed across the white stone in wide arcs, and a metallic smell crawled up my nose.
The god was gone. Completely, utterly gone, as if he had never existed at all. And my powerless brother had killed him.
Then I felt it—a whisper down the bond between us, so faint I almost missed it. Who knows a father better than his son?
I was Thais Morvaren, wielder of stars, and I had come here to learn how to kill a god.
"All the power in the world means nothing if you lack the spine to wield it when it counts."
"You think you could break me?" "Break you?" His laugh was cold. "Breaking would be such a waste. I'd much rather watch you bend."
"So, tell me, starling," he said slowly, savoring each word like fine wine. "Which one of your parents is divine?"
Oh hes smart
"The Proving was honestly enough to sound the alarm. But more than that, there's your strength." His eyes raked over me appraisingly. "And let's not forget your unnatural beauty. The kind that is so distracting, starling. That flush of divinity.”
OH
My hands clenched into fists in my lap. "She was back in Elaren before she even knew she was expecting." The words came out hard, thrashing, each one a stone thrown with violent force. "The encounter was not consensual."
"It means, starling," he said slowly, the words crashing into the silent room, "that we make absolutely certain you don't die in the Trials. It means we make sure you not only survive—but that you ascend."
"And what message are we sending?" He handed me one of the glasses, his fingers brushing mine. "That you are worth my personal attention."
“Don’t be a stranger, my boy. Eternity is too long to spend entirely in shadows.”
"Everyone sees what I represent, what I can provide. But you... you just see me. The good and the terrible alike."
"Do I have permission, starling?" He leaned closer, his scent filling my lungs. "Can I make you burn?"
"Xül," I breathed, my voice cracking. “You’re such a stubborn little thing,” he growled. And then his lips claimed mine.
"That's it," he growled against my lips, his voice rougher than I'd ever heard it, "now be a good girl and let go."
OKKK
"No." His voice turned sharp. "You don't get to leave. Do you hear me? You stay here. You stay with me."
Xül closed the distance between us in three swift strides. "This isn’t a game to me, Thais. Perhaps it was in the beginning. Before I knew you—before I knew who you really were. But it's not anymore. And you’re perfectly aware of that."
He turned, slipping off his overcoat. "Because I'm tired of pretending," My eyes fell on the way his black shirt stretched against the width of his back. "Pretending what?" "That I don't want you."
Oh hes drugged too
"Tell me you don't feel it too," he said, his breath warm against my ear. "Tell me you don't lie awake thinking of my hands on your skin, my mouth on yours."
Ohhh my god
"You have no right to be jealous," I said, though the knowledge that he was sent a thrill through me. "None whatsoever," he agreed, his lips curving into a predatory smile. "And yet here I am, burning with it."
”I’m going to burn you alive, Thais" he growled, his voice scraped raw. "To make up for all the time wasted."
"I'm a man who dreams about having you spread out beneath me, begging me to fill you, to claim you, to make you mine in every filthy way I can imagine." His eyes burned into mine. "So tell me—do you still think I'm hiding from what I want?"
OHHHHH
"Then take it," I whispered, my voice barely steady. "Take what you want." "Stop talking." But his grip tightened, and I could see the war raging behind his eyes. "Make me," I challenged.
"Tell me something," he said, his voice dropping even lower as he watched me. "How often do you think of me when you're alone?"
OH MY GODDD
"That's the cruelty of it," he replied, his gaze moving to the stars visible through the willow branches. "Knowing they'll welcome me back each time, even as the faces change, as those I know grow old and die."
“Because none of them deserve you. No one ever will,” he nearly growled against my ear. “Even me, Thais. Especially me.”
“That’s not the only problem, Thais. I don’t just want your body. I want all of you. Every single piece. If we go there, it will ruin me for the rest of my life.”
He studied me for a long moment, the hostility fading from his expression. "Do you think you could forgive me?" The words came unexpectedly as he ran a hand down his face. "I don’t know what I’ll do with myself if you can’t."
"And I wasn't thinking—wasn't thinking about what it would do to you if our plan went sideways." "It would have ruined me. I need you to know that."
"I'm sorry." "I'm sorry too, starling." We fell into a shallow silence.
We are communicating !!
"Tell me it wouldn't matter to you," he demanded, his eyes blazing. “If you tell me to walk away, I will. But not until I hear you say it.”
“Stop trying to reason with me.” His fingers tightened in my hair. “This is going to break me, Thais.” “Xül—” “You don’t understand.” He cut me off. “I love you, starling. I’m in love with you.” My heart seized. Love.
Ahhhhhhhhh
“You’re not the only one of us with a hypocrite as a father. Mine chose love over duty—nearly sent the entire realm crashing down around him.” Xül inhaled, moving closer. “And I’ll be damned for eternity if I’m not willing to do the same. I’d burn Voldaris to the ground for you.”
"I’d wage wars for you," he murmured, his breathing ragged. "I won’t hide from it anymore. I’m done doing what everyone else requires of me. Done. I’m choosing me now. And I’m choosing you. Tell me that you want this too," he murmured against my neck, his hands already working at the fastenings of my dress. "That you’ll be mine."
"You’re the only thing I’ll ever want," he confessed between kisses. “I’ll be yours for as long as you want me, Thais. Eternity is a long time, and I know I’m asking a lot of you. And that there’s a chance that you’ll change your mind, a year from now—a thousand years from now.” He paused, looking directly into my eyes. “But when that day comes, my heart will stop. It will only ever beat for you, Thais."
OHH
But there was no indigo. Only two blazing pools of pure, molten gold staring back at me.
"She was stubborn too. A fighter." Olinthar stepped away from Thatcher, moving toward me with predatory grace. "Usually, they end up enjoying themselves. But not her. She hated every moment."
Jesus
"Your brother shares the power of my brother," he whispered.
The wretchedly handsome face smiled. "This body belongs to him, true. But I rarely let him out to play." He tapped his temple with one finger. "You're..." "Moros, child." The name fell from lips that weren't truly his. "The Primordial of Endings. Vivros thought he destroyed me, but it was only my form he ripped from existence."
"When I take your brother's body as my vessel, when his hands become mine..." He let the words hang in the air like a promise. "What could be more poetic than having him be the one to end you? The last thing you'll see is his face, knowing I'm wearing it."
A silken voice answered, sweet as honey and twice as deadly. "Forgive my delay, Master. The son required more... attention than anticipated." A figure moved into my field of vision, kneeling gracefully before me with a smile of perfect malice. Elysia.
I bind myself to you. My life. My soul. My Loyalty. Forevermore. I’m yours. "The Sev'anarath," I growled out. The temperature plummeted until our breath misted in the air. "You bound your soul to her?" Each word was clipped. "Yes." “And she to you?” “No.”
"You want to wear flesh?" Thatcher's eyes blazed, and I saw it then—just a split second, when my brother's eyes burned Primordial silver. "Then suffer in it."
