Eighth Grave After Dark (Charley Davidson, #8)

by Darynda Jones

IRONY: THE OPPOSITE OF WRINKLY.

I argued that my face was shiny enough without adding glitter, but Cookie insisted. She wanted princesses in her wedding, and by damn, we were going to be princesses. I refrained from telling her princesses didn’t wear glitter. Pole dancers wore glitter.

CREMATION OF THE BODY IS FINAL. —SIGN IN FUNERAL HOME

SOMETIMES I WONDER IF THE PURPOSE OF MY LIFE IS TO SERVE AS A CAUTIONARY TALE TO OTHERS.

“We watch movies while Uncle Reyes makes cockporn.”

Showers were God’s reward for working hard enough to get dirty.

It was a sad and disappointing day when I discovered my Universal Remote Control did not, in fact, control the universe. (Not even remotely.)

I HAVE COMPLETELY MASTERED THE RIGHT WAY OF DOING EVERYTHING WRONG.