The Wallcreeper

by Nell Zink

I wanted to be addressed in hushed tones of pity, even by myself. I wanted to hear my own whispers in the next room and know that I was thinking of me.

His awkward hands reminded me of the flames around Joan of Arc at the stake.

are you saying that what makes our relationship valuable is my willingness to suffer for you? Are you aware that I’ve never suffered for you for even, like, one second? That’s what makes our relationship so optimal, in my opinion.” “You must have done buttfucking to know that it’s ‘no fun.’ So you suffered for someone else, right?”

For months I lay like a windfall peach contemplating its own bitter almond.

Stop following orders. Do what you want. Work selfishly. Without the experience of control, you will never have the experience of creativity. Stop giving yourself away, and you will have more to offer than your body and soul. Keep them and cultivate them. Learn, learn, and once again learn!”