The Company We Keep: In Search of Biblical Friendship

by Jonathan D. Holmes

This is one ache [the ache for friendship] that is part of [Adam’s] perfection…God made us in such a way that we cannot enjoy paradise without friends. God made us in such a way that we cannot enjoy our joy without friends. Human friends. Adam had a perfect quiet time every day, twenty-four hours, never had a dry one, and yet he needed

What is the friend, who will be a real blessing to my soul? Is it enough that he will humour my fancies, and flatter my vanity? Is it enough that he loves my person, and would spend his time and energies in my service? This comes far short of my requirement. I am a poor straying sinner, with a wayward will and a blinded heart; going wrong at every step. The friend for my case is one, who will watch over me with open rebuke; but a reprover when needful; not a flatterer. The genuineness of a friendship without this mark is more than doubtful; its usefulness utterly paralyzed.

To talk and laugh and do kindness to each other; to read pleasant books together; to make jokes together and then talk seriously together; to be sometimes teaching and sometimes learning…These and other similar expressions of feeling, which proceed from the hearts of those who love and are loved in return, and are revealed in the face, the voice, the eyes, and in a thousand charming ways, were like a kindling fire to melt our souls together and out of many to make us one.

The more explicitly biblical a friendship, therefore, the greater we can expect the opposition to be. Because Satan will spare no effort to mar or destroy the image and witness of God, believers must guard against spiritual threats to biblical friendship.

We are indeed new creations and by virtue of this are destined for an eternity of sinless perfection. But who are we right now? The biblical answer is that, even as we are adopted children of God and counted righteous in his sight, at the same time we are—every single one of us—frail creatures who struggle with specific sins that are tied to our areas of personal weakness.