Children of all ages need attention. They would prefer positive attention in the form of hugs, smiles, and the words “I love you,” but they will behave in an aversive manner (being disobedient, rude, or arrogant) to attract your negative attention (reprimanding, scolding, and so forth) if that seems to be the only way to receive attention at all. When you give your child enough positive attention, you make it less likely that he’ll provoke conflict as an attention-getting strategy. In general, positive attention will deepen the love and connection between you and your child.
