The Reason: How I Discovered a Life Worth Living

by Lacey Sturm

If only I would have known that it was okay to mourn—that sometimes rain can be overwhelming, but that doesn’t mean that the rain will never stop. And that sunshine after the rain makes rainbows visible. Thunderstorms can be signs of spring.

I wasn’t aware that I was teaching myself to use my mind to steal my own joy.

Darkness can feel honest, and honesty can be beautiful and feel so inspiring. But darkness stops short of resolution. It’s deceptive. You can’t see all that lurks within darkness. The things that inhabit darkness live there because you can’t see them; that way they can deceive you, pervert you, and ultimately destroy you from the inside out.

It was my first taste of just how shallow and fake drug-centered relationships can be. I used to think partying together was a legitimate way to connect with people. Suddenly I got a vague sense of just what a cheap façade it was.

A quote I love by St. Augustine says: People travel to wonder at the height of the mountains, at the huge waves of the seas, at the long course of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars, and yet they pass by themselves without wondering.2

What matters is knowing what season it is for you and knowing what you are meant to be doing today. That is where you will be the most fulfilled and where you will be the most effective at changing the world.

We make empty wishes upon stars that have already begun to burn away, We add false color to hair that has already begun to grey. We place lively spring flowers at the feet of the dead, And we only voice our most meaningful words on our deathbeds. Why is it that we try so hard to paint colors onto things that have already faded away, Yet we never open our eyes to see the bright hues of today?