What to Expect the First Year: (Updated in 2025)

by Heidi Murkoff

Say it early (and as often as necessary), say it firmly, and most of all, say it lovingly. Explain to any well-meaning but meddling grandparents that they did a wonderful job of raising you and your spouse, but that it’s your turn to wear the parent pants. There will be times when you’ll welcome their know-how (especially if grandma has cataloged somewhere in her vast reserves of experience a surefire trick for calming a crying newborn) but other times when you’ll want to learn from your pediatrician, books, websites, apps, parent peers, and your mistakes—much as they probably did. Explain, too, that not only is it important for you to set the rules (as they did when they first became parents), but that many of the rules have changed since they were in the parenting game (babies are no longer put to sleep on their tummies or fed on a schedule), which is why their way of doing things may no longer be recommended. And don’t forget to say it with humor.