What to Expect the First Year: (Updated in 2025)

by Heidi Murkoff

Avoid the “no!” game. A constant chorus of “no, no, no!” strips that all-important word of its power, fast—not to mention sets the stage for toddler negativity (which is just around the corner). So choose your battles, with first choice always going to matters of safety and well-being (of people and things), but avoid making everything a battle. You can limit your use of “no’s” by creating a childproof environment in your home, with plenty of opportunities for exploration under safe conditions. Turn “don’ts” into “do’s,” when you can, too: “This is how we pet a cat” instead of “Don’t pull Fluffy’s tail!” Along with each no, try to offer a yes in the form of an alternative: “No, you can’t play with Daddy’s book, but you can look at this one,” or “You can’t empty the cereal shelf, but you can empty the plastic container cabinet.” Instead of “No, don’t touch those papers in Mommy’s desk,” try, “Those papers go in Mommy’s drawer. Let’s see if we can put the papers back and close the drawer.” This win-win approach gets the message across and teaches a lesson—without going negative.