Stepbrother Dearest

by Penelope Ward

“I know that despite my warning, you gave me a piece of your heart anyway last night. And even though I tried to stop it, I gave you a piece of mine. I know you could feel that happening this morning. I want you to keep it with you tucked away. And when you decide to give the rest of yours to another guy someday, please make sure it’s someone who deserves you.”

I still dream about your neck. I still think about you every day. For some reason, I just needed you to know that tonight. Please don’t write back.

I expected the gnawing feeling in my chest to go away over time, but it never did; it only intensified. I think that was because deep down, I also sensed that wherever she was, Greta was thinking of me, feeling the same way. I somehow felt it, and it ate away at me for years.

Something else also hit me: the answer to the question she texted me earlier, the reason why it bothered me if other guys came on to her. I was eventually able to let Greta go only because I thought she was happy and that she was with someone who loved her. Everything I believed to get me over her was a lie. Realizing that had now put my feelings back at square one even though I wouldn’t be able to act on them.

I’m questioning everything, and I don’t fucking know what to do. That’s. The. Truth.”

Through death there was life. Through hate there was love. I looked down at my son. “In the end, there was you, and that made it all worth it.”