The Art of Possibility: Transforming Professional and Personal Life

by Rosamund Stone Zander

“Out of the boat” could refer to something as simple as losing all memory of ever having been on an exercise program, or it could refer to floundering in the wake of a management shake-up. When you are out of the boat, you cannot think your way back in; you have no point of reference. You must call on something that has been established in advance, a catch phrase, like “toes to nose.”

We see a map of the world, not the world itself. But what kind of map is the brain inclined to draw? The answer comes from one of the realities of biology, the survival of the fittest.

What might I now invent, That I haven’t yet invented, That would give me other choices?

My teacher, the great cellist Gaspar Cassadó, used to say to us as students, “I’m so sorry for you; your lives have been so easy. You can’t play great music unless your heart’s been broken.”

WHEN HE RETIRED from the Supreme Court, Justice Thurgood Marshall was asked of what accomplishment he was most proud. He answered, simply, “That I did the best I could with what I had.”

Giving yourself an A is not about boasting or raising your self-esteem. It has nothing to do with reciting your accomplishments. The freely granted A lifts you off the success/failure ladder and spirits you away from the world of measurement into the universe of possibility. It is a framework that allows you to see all of who you are and be all of who you are, without having to resist or deny any part of yourself.

How often do we stand convinced of the truth of our early memories, forgetting that they are but assessments made by a child? We can replace the narratives that hold us back by inventing wiser stories, free from childish fears, and, in doing so, disperse long-held psychological stumbling blocks.

Yet in the music business, as in all walks of life, a leader who feels he is superior is likely to suppress the voices of the very people on whom he must rely to deliver his vision alive and kicking.

The only way to find happiness is to accept that the way things are is the way things are.

Being present to the way things are is not the same as accepting things as they are in the resigned way of the cow. It doesn’t mean you should drown out your negative feelings or pretend you like what you really can’t stand. It doesn’t mean you should work to achieve some “higher plane of existence” so you can “transcend negativity.” It simply means, being present without resistance: being present to what is happening and present to your reactions, no matter how intense.

However, there is another choice: letting the rain be, without fighting it. Merely exchanging an and for a but may do the trick: We are in Florida for our winter vacation, AND it’s raining. This isn’t what we planned; it’s very disappointing. If we wanted rain at this time of year, we would have visited our friends in Seattle. AND, this is the way things are.

When we dislike a situation, we tend to put all our attention on how things should be rather than how they are. How many times have we addressed a “should-be” child and found our words quite irrelevant to the child we’ve got? The stakes really go up when the issue is not rain or a child’s whine, but hunger, tyranny, or global warming. When our attention is primarily directed to how wrong things are, we lose our power to act effectively. We may have difficulty understanding the total context, discussing what to do next, or overlooking the people who “should not have done what they did” as we think about a solution.

The more attention you shine on a particular subject, the more evidence of it will grow. Attention is like light and air and water. Shine attention on obstacles and problems and they multiply lavishly.

There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. —MARTHA GRAHAM, quoted by Agnes DeMille, Martha: The Life and Work of Martha Graham

Barbara Waugh, worldwide personnel manager of Hewlett-Packard Laboratories, spoke of the transformation that took place when HP’s competition-driven mission statement was finally turned into a real vision. “I grew up thinking that change was cataclysmic,” Waugh said, “and probably accompanied by music. The way we’ve done it here is to start slow and work small. At some point, it begins to multiply, and you get transformation—almost before you realize it.” It happened during a meeting to plan a celebration of creativity at HP Labs. Laurie Mittelstadt, a materials engineer, posed a simple yet powerful question to the group: “Why aspire to be the best industrial lab in the world? Why not be the best lab for the world? In fact, why not say ‘HP For the World?’”