I'm Not for Everyone. Neither Are You.

by David Leddick

Fashion comes and goes. Style is eternal.

Remember, absence of style is a style too.

Life unfolds through action, which is why it is so important to follow your heart and to be brave.

“Never complain, never explain.”

No one wants to know. No one needs to know.

Let us not complain. It makes us so unattractive. Fake it and pretend you have no problems. It will make other people very jealous of you. Somehow the act of pretending lowers the level of problems you actually have.

After a while your problems become your lifestyle.

First you bring up your troubles with your mother or once in a while with your friends. Then you’re calling them late at night. Your problems have become you, and you have become your problems.

Trite but true: If you can pay for the solution, you haven’t got a problem.

“I never designed a good dress until I didn’t care anymore.”

You don’t have to care to be a top grade professional. What you do have to do is never let yourself down and always do top grade work.

“We are all in the gutter but some of us are looking at the s...

If there was one thing that I wanted my staff to learn from me it was, “I am willing to lose battles as long as I win the war.”

I will do anything for money. The less I like to do it, the more it costs.

If you are capable of doing work that others are not, be sure you are paid well for it. It really makes it possible to bear up.

Elegance is the ability to present yourself to the world stripped down to the real you. Without subterfuge. When you say no, you are refusing to be anything other than who you are, or to look or seem any way other than your authentic being. You say no to pretending you are someone other than who you are.

Better to say nothing. In that way you have some chance of interrupting the give and take that is formulaic in your relation with them and perhaps heading off in a whole new direction.

Think it. Don’t say it.

They knew there was an impression more important than what I might rationally conclude.

When you flash on something, it is your subconscious sending you the message it has been mulling over. Listen to it.

When you truly become professional, you know when your work is good. You don’t need others to tell you.

Consider Marilyn Monroe. All she needed was one good friend to say, “You are a great comic actress. Go do your thing. Don’t try to be Sarah Bernhardt. She’s dead. Be yourself at your best.” Unfortunately Marilyn didn’t have that friend to tell her. You should tell yourself that. You know yourself at your best. You don’t need someone else’s approval. And you can ignore any rejection you get from others. They don’t know as well as you do. I promise.

Don’t wish revenge upon someone. Wish them a long life. The Spanish have a saying, “Revenge is a dish best served cold.” How about very cold? Don’t be hovering about wishing someone the worst. It just makes you less of a person. Just hope they have a long life. I promise you they won’t enjoy it.

Don’t get off the train at the wrong station. It’s very h...

“Don’t be so sure that what you want is what you should have.”

I think when you really try to explore yourself and your potential you see it as a learning process. When it comes time to check out you realize that you can die with no regrets if you have tried to find out who you are and have acted upon what you have learned. There is nothing more to do. It is time to go.

It’s the greatest of all qualities. Courage. We are all afraid but we should never let ourselves down and shy away from the things we fear. Courage lets us progress. Even more important, it lets us be proud of ourselves. Makes us stronger in our ability to face each new challenge. Courage, my friends. Take courage.

“There is no lasting comfort in a safe landing. Better to stay in flight … and embrace impermanence.”

Never chase someone who should be chasing you. My Uncle Sidney said, “Never chase a streetcar or a woman. There’ll be another one along in a minute.” Well, the streetcars are gone but the idea is there. If someone isn’t interested in you they are not going to become more so by your persistence. You dropping the chase, abruptly, might in fact result in piquing their interest in you. Come on. You’re top notch. People should be chasing you.

A bad review is just one person’s opinion. I’m a writer and a bad review does not bother me. Honestly. I know it is just one person and they have every right in the world to not like my book. They may influence other people but Kismet, it is written in the stars. I think this is true of all criticism. Don’t let it bother you. It’s just one person. I am sure there are hundreds who think you are swell.

You are better off seeming to be problem-free and full of fun. I promise you, no one needs to know otherwise.

In confrontation, never answer the way people expect you to.

You are not your own type.

I have two takeaways from all my years in France: 1) The language you speak has much to do with your personality. You should really have more than one to understand who you are and who you can be. And 2) though no French person wants to know you well enough so that you can call them in the night and ask for help, they still set an example of independence in their thinking. You can disagree with everyone and still be right. A great thing to know.

You’re not getting older. You’re getting more sophisticated. This is what I tell everyone I meet who is dealing with the years passing by. It is true. At a certain point you have seen a lot. You have a very adult viewpoint. You are not going to be shocked by other people’s behavior. As my manager says, “The party is over. Turn on the lights.” When you reach a certain age, you don’t have to pretend anything anymore. Now is the time to live. To study what you haven’t studied, to meet the people you have always wanted to meet, to sleep with the people you always wanted to sleep with. You are sophisticated now. Go for it.

Who knows where life is leading? Instead of fuming and fussing about inconveniences and interruptions, perhaps the turns in the road are leading you in new directions.

think we are being pushed along a path and we’re the ones who screw up by balking and dragging our feet because it isn’t what we had planned and had in mind. Somebody or something great may be out there waiting and the encounter would never happen any other way.

You can only look ten years younger than you are. This is just some straightforward advice on extreme makeovers. I highly advise plastic surgery, but do not try for the impossible. If you really feel you missed out on your youth and you want to look twenty again, forget it. Ten years younger than you really are is possible. More truly isn’t.

Do not get involved with someone expecting them to change. The only way they’ll change is to get worse. If you love someone, love them exactly as they are. Do not expect your love to change them. It won’t. You waiting and watching for them to change will only make them feel guilty. And as always, instead of accepting the guilt they will turn it around and for some reason you will be to blame. When you make people feel guilty they want to get you out of their life so they can stop feeling guilty. It’s as simple as that.

If you are not getting along with your lover, leave and come back as an attractive stranger.

Living with someone allows them to concentrate on things like the towels you left on the bathroom floor. Better to just hie yourself elsewhere and return as that embodiment of all they ever longed for.

“You can only feel happiness to the degree that you are willing to risk being unhappy.” This is from Erich Maria Remarque. I think it is true. You want to fall in love with someone but you are afraid that you will be wrecked if you should lose them. You will. But you are never going to climb those peaks of emotion that love can bring unless you are willing to risk falling into the depths. Think about this, please. I think a lot of people cannot connect with love possibilities because they are afraid of being unhappy. Don’t be one of those people. Feel. Thrill. Suffer. It’s called living.

There are only three reasons to know someone: 1. They are beautiful. 2. They are interesting. 3. They are good. I always tell everyone. “If you are not beautiful and you cannot manage to be interesting I would highly advise you to be good.” The fact that someone can do something for you is not a reason to know them. That will always backfire on you.

There are only 40 people in the world. The rest are walk-ons.

Never make a business call on Monday or Friday. On Mondays everyone is struggling to catch up with the cascade of problems that have piled up over the weekend. On Friday they can’t wait to get out of the office. Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays are the days when people are far more willing to talk to you. And another thing. Never call anyone before 10:30 in the morning. Glamour is impossible before eleven, Glamour is impossible before eleven. I repeat, glamour is impossible before eleven.

The trick is not caring.

You must care about the work but not care about the criticism.

I always listen when my sub-conscious speaks.

The greatest sin is being ungrateful. I truly believe this. Those who have no real involvement with anyone other than themselves are guilty of this sin frequently. They are helped to find a job, lent money, taken to the doctor, endless varieties of being helped along through life. They never feel grateful and never say thanks. And they wonder why they are not helped again. Sometimes someone you have helped very little will never forget and be very grateful. Which is great. Which is just to say, if you help someone don’t expect to be thanked. You did it for the good of yourself.

Men care most about what other men think of them. In the 21st century men still care most about how they appear in the eyes of other men. Are they macho enough? Are they rich enough? Are they powerful enough? All men’s goals have to do with how they are viewed by other men. Wel...