Darkdawn (The Nevernight Chronicle, #3)

by Jay Kristoff

All her life, she’d thought of her parents as flawless. Godlike. Her mother, sharp and wise and beautiful as the finest rapier of Liisian steel. Her father, brave and noble and bright as the suns. Even as she’d learned more about who they were from Sidonius in the cells beneath Crow’s Nest, it never seemed to dim their reflection in her mind’s eye. It hurt too much to admit they might be imperfect. Selfish. Driven by greed or lust or pride and willing to risk everything for the sake of it. And so she kept them unstained. Untarnished. Locked in a box forever inside her head. Father is another name for God in a child’s eyes. And Mother is the very earth beneath her feet.

“I love you, Mia Corvere,” she said. “Everything you are. But there’s so much more to you than this. I know you might not see a life like that for yourself, but you can have it if you want it. I’m not going to lay here and say that you deserve it. You’re a thief and a killer and a hateful fucking cunt.” Mia couldn’t help but smile. “Truth.” “But that’s why I adore you,” Ash breathed. “And the more I live it, the more I realize ‘deserve’ has nothing to do with this life. Blessings and curses fall on the wicked and the just alike. Fair is a fairy tale. Nothing’s claimed by those who don’t want it, and nothing’s kept by those who won’t fight for it. So let’s fight. Fuck the gods. Fuck it all. Let’s take the world by the throat and make it give us what we want.” Ash kissed her again, the taste of burning tears on her lips. “Because I want you.”

Mia shrugged. “So I chose her.” “BUT YOU DON’T REGRET IT? EVEN NOW?” “No.” Mia shook her head. “I think I need someone like her. Being with her … it shows me there’s more to all this than just the blood. Because I want there to be. But it’s so hard to remember that sometimes.” Mia drew a deep breath off her smoke, savored the warm burn in her chest. “It’s as if there’s two halves of me, aye? Two pieces of the whole. One is just … darkness. Rage. She hates the world and everything in it. All she wants is to tear it down and laugh as it burns. And then there’s the me who thinks there might actually be something worth fighting for in all this. And maybe something to live for after.” Mia looked into the flames—the fire ahead and behind. “Two halves at war within me. And the one that will win is the one that I feed.”

When all is blood, blood is all.

It was a weight, pressing on her shoulders. It was a hammer, shattering her like glass. She felt herself sinking in her own undertow, pieces drifting down into the dark. Her love was lost. Her hope was gone. Her song was sung. Nothing of anything remained. She looked for something to cling to, something to save her, something to keep her warm in a world grown so suddenly black and cold. She reached toward her vengeance and found it futile. She reached toward her anger and found it hollow. She reached toward her love and found only tears. She scrabbled in the bitter ash her heart had blossomed in, black grit beneath her fingernails, a black sting in her eyes. Looking for a reason. Looking for anything. Eclipse scoffed. “… YOU HAVE THE HEART OF A LION…” “A crow, perhaps.” She wiggled her fingers at the wolf. “Black and shriveled.” “… YOU WILL KNOW THE LIE OF THAT BEFORE THE END OF THIS, MIA. I PROMISE…” And there, on her knees, the darkest night of her soul closing in around her, Mia finally saw it. A tiny spark, flickering in the black. She seized hold of it like she was freezing, like she was drowning. A strange shape, altogether unfamiliar—not the vengeance that had driven her or the rage that had sustained her or even the love that she’d set her back against. It was a simple thing, almost impossible to grasp. A tiny thing, almost impossible to see the breadth of. Truth. “Never flinch,” her mother had told her. “Never fear.” But there, alone in Cleo’s dark, Mia finally re...