So You've Been Publicly Shamed

by Jon Ronson

Maybe our secret is actually nothing horrendous. Maybe nobody would even consider it a big deal if it was exposed. But we can’t take that risk. So we keep it buried. Maybe it’s a work impropriety. Or maybe it’s just a feeling that at any moment we’ll blurt something out during some important meeting that’ll prove to everyone that we aren’t proper professional people or, in fact, functional human beings. I think that even in these days of significant oversharing we keep this particular terror concealed, like people used to with things like masturbation before everyone suddenly got blasé about it online. With masturbation, nobody cares. Whereas our reputation—it’s everything.

did we not know that the human mind seldom arrives at truth up on any subject till it has first reached the extremity of error. —BENJAMIN RUSH

If it had previously existed in [the convicted person’s] bosom a spark of self-respect this exposure to public shame utterly extinguishes it. Without the hope that springs eternal in the human breast, without some desire to reform and become a good citizen, and the feeling that such a thing is possible, no criminal can ever return to honorable courses.

You combine insecurity and ambition, and you get an inability to say no to things.

I suppose it’s no surprise that we feel the need to dehumanize the people we hurt—before, during, or after the hurting occurs.

You don’t have any rights when you’re accused on the Internet. And the consequences are worse. It’s worldwide forever.”

idiots. If you understood medicine in Massachusetts at a certain time, you were a witch and they would burn you. There aren’t a lot of people these days who can get past Facebook. So explain to them how a router works and you’re a magician. You’re a dark wizard.

and the man concluded I was a sociopath.” As he said this, he gave me an anxious glance. I sighed. “Do you feel empathy?” I asked him. “Yes!” he said.

“Thanks, Ron, another phew,” Max replied. He paused. “Jon,” he said, “I meant Jon.” “More proof you’re not a sociopath, because sociopaths wouldn’t care about calling me Ron,” I said. “Another phew!” said Max.

He added that a lot of sex industry people go on to become hospice workers: “They’re not freaked out by the body, so they can help people transition through illness and death.

I feel that a really public shaming or humiliation is a conflict between the person trying to write his own narrative and society trying to write a different narrative for the person. One story tries to overwrite the other. And so to survive you have to own your story. Or”—Mike looked at me—“you write a third story. You react to the narrative that’s been forced upon you.” He paused. “You have to find a way to disrespect the other narrative,” he said. “If you believe it, it will crush you.”

Google has the informal corporate motto of ‘Don’t be evil,’ but they make money when anything happens online, even the bad stuff.”

they took it out 2019

We express our opinion that Justine Sacco is a monster. We are instantly congratulated for this—for basically being Rosa Parks. We make the on-the-spot decision to carry on believing it.