Jennifer put up her hands, said, “Guys, let’s not make this a dick-measuring contest, okay?” There was silence for a moment, then John said, “That’s good, because it wouldn’t be no contest at all.” Silence again. “That is, I’m referring to my cock being bigger than either of yours.” I sighed and said, “John, I don’t think anyone in this vehicle is in the mood to—” “John, let me make one thing clear,” Jim said, cutting me off in his most stern, evangelical voice. “Every man is blessed with his gifts from the Lord. One of mine happens to be a penis large enough that, if it had a penis of its
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