If It Makes You Happy

by Julie Olivia

Copper Run smells like crunching leaves and breezes that bite. There’s a hint of something warm in the air too—baked bread of some kind. Maybe a pie or biscuits in the oven. Mazzy Star hums from my neighbor’s open window.

“What movie are we renting today, Em?” Cliff calls out. “Rebel Without a Cause? Dazed and Confused? ’Cause that’s sure me right now. Or how about Ferris Bueller’s Day Off? That seems the most applicable, kiddo.”

The world tilts. It suddenly feels like I’m falling through the ground, straight to the center of the earth. God, she’s breathtaking.

“Well, if you want to keep it to yourself, that’s your business. Not mine.” I open my mouth, then shut it, trying to process this new logic.

Now, when I tell Cliff that I don’t want to, he lets me exist in the way that makes sense for me. I don’t know how to handle that type of understanding.

I don’t want to go on more dates. I want Michelle. Not as a friend. Not as a fling. I want her.