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When we broke apart, I kept him close, my forehead pressed to his. “I want you. You don’t have anything to prove, pet. You’re fucking perfect, and I want you.” Ethan’s face softened, his eyes searching mine. “Take me home.” I kissed him again, briefly, before lacing my fingers through his. “Let’s go.”
“Now you beg me to let you fuck me,”
“Do you want to?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. His hand slid behind him, finding me. “What?” I managed, my words catching in my throat as he pressed himself back, positioning my cock in the cleft of his ass. “Fuck me,” he clarified, his voice sweet—almost too sweet.
“I want that too. Right now, as a matter of fact. But I need one thing from you first.”
“Don’t smile at anyone else,” he whispered, his palm moving up to my neck. “Don’t flirt with anyone else.” His hand tightened around my throat, his grip strong. “Don’t even look at anyone else,” he continued, his voice heavy with intensity. “Keep your eyes on me, Ash, and I’ll be all yours. You can fuck me as much as you want.” He pressed down slightly, his control intoxicating. “Deal?” he asked, his lips curving into a small, dangerous smile as he leaned in.
“Deal,” I said, my voice hoarse, my grin slipping into place.
“Good boy,” he whispered. I blinked. “You little shit.”
“You did beautifully, my darling,” I whispered to his skin. “You feel so fucking good.”
We climbed into bed, curling into each other. As I held him, my thoughts churned. I was so far out of my comfort zone. I had no idea how to handle Ethan. He didn’t follow any rules, and he didn’t let me lead like I was supposed to. For the second time that night, I thought about calling this off before it got messier. Instead I held him tighter, burying my face in his hair, and let sleep take me. For now, I’d just drink him in for a little longer.
The problem was, this was temporary. It was always meant to be temporary, and I knew I would never get over him. No one else would ever feel this good, would ever make me feel the way he did.
didn’t want to give up having sex with Sebastian, no matter the risks. Because as much as I knew this would ruin me for anyone else, I also knew I wanted it to be him.
For one moment, I closed my eyes and let myself feel it—the weight of him holding me, the way his voice softened when he called me darling. I let myself imagine, just for a second, what it would feel like if he were actually mine.
“You’re perfect,” he whispered, his voice filled with awe.
He was looking at me differently. The usual smirk that teased at his lips was gone, replaced by something softer, something that felt almost tender. His expression was unguarded, and it sent a pang through my chest.
“So you have to do everything I say, right?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. His gaze met mine. “Anything you want, darling,” he whispered, pressing a soft kiss to my lips. I bit my lip, swallowing the words threatening to spill out. What I wanted more than anything was for Sebastian to fall in love with me. I wished it were as simple as giving an order and having him obey without resistance.
Something passed between us—something electric and far more intimate than what we’d just done. The way our eyes locked on each other, it was like the moment was suspended in space. Stretching in time. Sebastian’s smile faltered, and I watched as his walls came back up. His eyes drifted from mine, and he cleared his throat. “Well, I’m glad you’re liking me so far,” he said lightly, but the warmth from moments ago was gone. He sat up. “Do you want to eat anything?” I watched him walk to the bathroom, regret twisting in my chest. “Sure, Ash.”
adore you, my darling,” he whispered so softly it could have been a dream.
“This is so fucking unfair,” he added, his voice tinged with something deeper—something that made my chest ache. I tightened my hold around his neck. “I do too, Ash.” It was true, but it was also so much more than that. I loved him.
I would never stop wanting to give him everything in order to keep him this close to me. I wanted to belong to him and have him be mine—solely focused on me—like he was right at this moment. I wanted the world to melt away and, with it, all of our problems and moral objections.
Back at the hotel, we had barely made it through a quick shower before stumbling into bed. We couldn’t stop laughing, the alcohol making us giddy and uncoordinated. And then Ethan, with that wicked, mischievous smile of his, had leaned in close, tugging on my neck, and whispered, “Fuck me, Daddy.”
And yet, all of this—this connection, this ridiculous joy—had to be with the nineteen-year-old brother of my brother’s fiancée. Anyone else in the world, and it wouldn’t have been such a goddamn tragedy. But it was Ethan, and I knew I had to end it and break his heart in the process.
couldn’t resist something that was just mine. You came when I needed you.”
“You came when I didn’t know I needed you,” he said softly. “And you didn’t like it when I was quiet.”
That night, as he fell asleep in my arms, something shifted irrevocably. Ethan was different. I didn’t want to keep the wall between us—the one I’d built with everyone else. I didn’t know what would happen if I let it down, if I let myself truly feel with him. I tightened my arm around his waist and kissed the side of his neck. He stirred, letting out a soft, contented sound that I committed to memory. I guessed I was going to find out.
The next couple of days followed the same rhythm—easy, full of laughter, filled with us. And I could say with certainty that I had never been as happy as I was in those moments with him.
“Can I leave now?” I deadpanned, but Ethan only pulled me closer. “No. I want to dance with you, even if you’re crap. It’s not about quality, it’s about you,” he insisted, his voice softening. And just like that, he had me.
“Then yes. You’d be my trophy. I’d show you off every chance I got.” His lips curved into a playful smile. “Where would you take me?” “You mean when you’re not tied to my bed?” “Yes, exactly. When you’re not being an absolute pervert,” he teased, his voice light but tinged with affection. I smirked. “I’d take you everywhere. Paris to indulge in pastries. Italy to drink wine in vineyards. Greece for grappa and to smash dishes. Bali to swim. Iceland to see the northern lights. Hell, I’d even take you to Antarctica to freeze your ass off at that igloo camp.” He chuckled, his eyes softening as I
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“You’re never going to lose me,” I told him gently, hoping he could hear the truth in my words. Ethan looked up at me, his blue eyes glassy with tears. “But you’re never going to love me.” There wasn’t a question in his voice, just quiet resignation.
Ethan’s heartbreak was etched all over his face, and it killed me. I shifted closer, reaching for him. “I’m sorry I can’t give you what you want, but that doesn’t mean I want you to leave.”
It was real. Every second of it. Nothing about this was an act. God-fucking-damn it. When had I let this get so out of hand?
“It’s not you, my darling. You know you’re perfect to me.” “Then why don’t you love me?” Another question I couldn’t answer. I hated hurting him like this.
Ethan’s honesty was ripping at every last thread of my restraint. I felt all those things too. I didn’t regret a second of this—whatever this was between us. I loved how close we’d grown, how effortlessly we fit together. I tried to think about my father, about the company and the board. I tried to think about the scandal this would cause, how it could shatter not just my reputation but theirs. I thought about my brothers—the promise I’d made to my mother to always protect them, to always put them first. I tried to keep Oliver’s face clear in my mind. I tried to focus on all the reasons why he
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You’re different to me. Kiss. This is real. Kiss. I want to keep you forever. Kiss. I fucking love you too. Kiss.
“I like it when you call me that,” I admitted. His smile grew, lighting up his face. “I thought you hated it.” “I used to. But now…” I hesitated, glancing up at him. “It makes me feel like I’m yours.” Sebastian’s arms tightened around me, pulling me closer. “You are mine.” My heart swelled at his words. “Am I?” He nodded. “Just like I’m yours too.” The rest of the world melted away as I looked up at him. “Mine?” “As if you’d have it any other way,” he teased, the corner of his mouth lifting into a smirk.
I started to smile—until his words caught up with me. “I’m not. Ethan’s the one who’s—” I hesitated, shrugging. “He’s young. He doesn’t even know what’s what.” Oliver rolled his eyes. “Don’t backtrack now, Ash.” “I’m not, it’s just—” “Ash.” Oliver’s voice was gentler now, but firm. “You’re in love with him.”
stared at the horizon, my mind running in circles. Who the hell was I trying to fool at this point? It was so jarringly obvious, it was almost comical. Finally, I let out a slow breath and accepted my own goddamn defeat. “Yeah. I love him.”
“To finding peace,” I said, my voice steady as my gaze locked onto Ethan’s. “To that moment when your soul finally settles into its home. There is no better feeling in the world than finding the other half of yourself.”
