Rescued by the Alien Bull Rider (Cowboy Colony Mail-Order Brides, #6)

by Ursa Dax

It might not have been the most impressive brain in the cosmos, or even the most impressive brain in our household. But it was the only one I had and I wanted to keep it in good working order if at all possible.

Uncomfortable. That was one hell of a euphemism considering it felt like Satan himself was currently pissing unholy lava all over my hands.

Petulant, maybe. Stubborn? Absolutely.

“That’s twice now, Zohro, that you’ve gone and saved someone out of the goodness of your heart.” “I didn’t save you out of the goodness of my heart,” I snapped. “It is merely that I find you mostly tolerable. And if you’d died after that blasted beam fell on your head, then they would have replaced you with someone else. And I have no interest in getting used to some idiotic new warden when I am already used to you.”

Have you tried making her some jambrewskies?” “Making her some what?” “Jamgiggities.” “I have absolutely no idea what you’re saying.” “Clothes they sleep in! You must know the sort. Jamburritos.” He shook his head, as if disappointed in me. “I really thought you’d know what human jamchiladas were by now.” “Warden Tenn, I must advise you that, in my professional opinion, you’re probably having a stroke.”

the Imperial Justice Committee of Zabria could eat my big, pregnant ass.

Stay married to me and I will provide you with all the squash innards you require.

I am spreading the gospel of our snakey saviour. The beloved cock tail.

I am a pregnant potato.

YOU ARE RAVISHING!!!! OUR REDHEADED QUEEN OF FERTILITY!!!!

I’m fairly certain any one of them would have tried to fuck a vaguely lady-shaped hay bale before they got married. In fact, I can’t even say with certainty that Fallon hasn’t attempted such a thing…

Ah, pregnancy. How blessed I was by it. To be so colossally horny and weepy all at the same time.

You were probably still numb from the waist down and did not notice. But there was amniotic fluid and other material that you needed cleansed from your skin.” Other material. Oh… Oh God… “Please, for the love of all that is holy, Zohro. Don’t tell me that I shit myself.” I groaned, mortified.

the house had to be at least a hundred metres away, if not more. And anytime I walked for too long, I suffered through the most unnerving sensation that I was going to poop out all my major internal organs. I didn’t need Zohro seeing me poop out anything else, thank you very much. I might have been pathetically in love with a man who basically saw me as a sister, but I could retain some of my shredded dignity. At least, I could fucking try!

Core strength? Didn’t know her.

I was also feeling tingly. Though in a far less appropriate place.

if one of them has assaulted your eyes with the sight of his own ridiculous cock tail then I will be forced to… To cut it off! With surgical precision!”

“It wants to come out! Hello in there!” “I beg you,” he said, beathing like he’d just run a kilometre to get here, “do not speak to it as if it can hear you.”

I’ve been meaning to tell you. You really have to stop calling them jamdildos. They’re pyjamas. Dildo means something very different.”