That went better than expected. A light tasering, a cuddle starting with some light wrestling, and a heart-to-heart. Who knew getting a girlfriend could be so fucking easy? You just have to wait for someone to chloroform you.
“You’re telling me you actually chloroformed yourself willingly? I thought you were joking when you told me that last week.” She arches an eyebrow. “You were doing so well. And you looked so serious; I didn’t want to ruin your flow.”
“Do you have a time machine? No, you don’t. You can’t fix this, you’re fucking delusional, and I’m . . . I’m just an idiot who believed you were redeemable.”
there is nothing i hate more than a third act breakup