Crash (Sinners and Saints #1)

by Kathy Lockheart

“One minute, you make me feel like I’m the most important person in your world, movin...

vowing to solve my medical mystery. But I know what comes next.” “And what’s that?” “Every other time I’ve let my guard down, you blow me off and mak...

“You think I don’t care about you?”

“You’re important to me, Tessa. How do you not know that by now?”

“Intellectually? Sure. But my heart has never been able to figure you out. Your constant push and pull, making me feel special one moment and invisible the next.” “You matter mo...

“Then why wouldn’t you return my calls? You made me feel humiliated!” “You stopped returning my calls. I’d tried calling you, repeatedly, but after a while, I got the message loud and...

“I didn’t answer your calls because before...

you dozens of texts after that night I embarrassed myself.” “Is that how you see it? You embarras...

“For two months, you ignored me.” “What was I supposed to say?” “How about accepting my apology?” “You had nothing to apologize for.” “...

“I buried myself in work because I wasn’t sure what to say to you.” “It takes two...

“You kissed me that night, and I kissed you back. I know I left, but I tried to reach out to you. But you regretted it so much that you blew me off!” “You think I didn’t want to kiss you?” “You made that perfectly clear when you ghosted me.” “I didn’t ghost you. I took time to figure out what to say, and then you wouldn’t take m...

“You had no reason to be mortified, but for whatever reason, you pulled away from me, Tessa. You pulled away from me. That night was one thing, but when you did it again wh...

“Do you want to know why I ran that night?”

“That kiss … it wasn’t about you. I mean, it was about you, but my reaction wasn’t.”

“I hadn’t been intimate with anyone since … since the assault. I wasn’t sure if it would trigger me, so...

“Deep down, I knew I was ready. My therapist had been telling me that for years, but I’d never … you know, put it to the test. Dating just never felt right. Then that night when you kissed me … God, everything felt perfect. It should have been the ...

“If I did freak out when we were … intimate, I would’ve had to explain why. And that meant telling you about my past. I was planning to take that secret to my grave. I couldn’t risk anything happening between us until I was absolutely certain my past wouldn’t come crashing in.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because it was my secret to keep. I had that right, but I’m so sorry, Blake. I never meant to hurt you that night. I never meant for everything between us to fall apart. For two years, I’ve been trying to figure out how to explain that my anxiety attack had nothing to do with you, without having to tell you about everything else.” “Tess.” “No,”

“No pity. I’m fine. All healed. My point is, I know why I ran, but you ran for different reasons. You ran because I was...

“I stopped the kiss. I tried to apologize for any hurt feelings or whatever, but y...

regretted that kiss more than I did. You discarded me, Blake. When I needed you the most, y...

“You think I haven’t thought about you”—his voice dropped to a dangerous whisper—”every moment since I first saw you?”

“And every moment since that kiss? How do you think I got this scar?”

“I walked straight from that party to the shittiest bar I could find. Picked a fight with the meanest bastard in there because getting knocked on my ass felt better than remembering how incredible your lips felt against mine.”

“I wanted that kiss, Tessa,” he said, his voice rough. “I wanted more than that kiss.”

“What are you saying?”

He leaned in closer, his breath heated against my ear as he whispered words that ignited my soul. “I didn’t want to just kiss you that night, Tessa. I wanted to bury myself in you.” And then he crashed his lips to mine.

“It’s okay.” I nodded, pressing his hand to my breast.

“You have no idea how long I’ve dreamed of this,” Blake breathed against my skin, trailing kisses along my jaw and down my neck. In one smooth motion, he tugged my tank top up, exposing my breasts to the cool night air.

My fingers tangled in his hair as realization hit me. The city lights. The terrace. He might not have planned for this to happen, but he was re-creating that scene from the romance novel he’d found in my townhouse, where the heroine was pleasured against a backdrop of city lights.

“You taste like heaven, Cupcake.”

“What … what do you mean?” “Tell me how you like to come.”

“I …”

“I’ve only done it with my vibrator.”

“You’ve never come with a guy before?”

With anyone else, this admission might have been mortifying, but Blake’s expression looked … honored.

“I get to be your first.”

“Oh God, right there,” I pleaded as he found a particularly sensitive spot. “Just like that …” “Do you know what I’ve imagined doing to you, Tessa?”

I couldn’t believe this was happening, that after all these years, I was about to experience my first orgasm with a guy. Best of all, that guy was Blake.

What a sight we were right now. Dark, handsome, and muscular Blake kneeling before my spread thighs, his face buried in my sex. Moaning, I felt my legs begin to tremble as I held his head to my sensitive flesh, riding a wave that was about to crash over.

“That’s what I wanted to do the night I kissed you, Tessa.”

“I get it,” I spat. “Just getting it out of your system. Well, congratulations. Consider that box checked.”

“Tessa, that’s not⁠—” “Save it.”

“I’m not some naive girl anymore, Blake. I don’t need you to let me down easily or make up excuses. This was just scratching an itch, right? Simpl...

“Tessa—” “Thanks for the orgasm,”

“Now get out of my way. I have a bag to pack.”

“Okay, fine. Do you want my honest opinion?” “Is there any other kind?” “Sounds to me like he’s fighting his feelings for you.”

“Don’t romanticize rejection. I’m a strong, independent woman. If he doesn’t want me, for any reason, that’s it. Any possible romance over.”

“W...