Crash (Sinners and Saints #1)

by Kathy Lockheart

“Because you might have said the same thing every other doctor said. That nothing’s wrong.”

“Something is wrong, Tessa. I would never have dismissed you like that.”

The fierce protectiveness in his voice took me back to a hundred different moments: Blake stepping between me and anyone who dared to hurt me, Blake showing up at my door after every breakup with ice cream and terrible movies, Blake’s fists clenching whenever someone made me cry. That same protective fire still burned in his eyes, only now it wasn’t aimed at high school bullies or boyfriends; it was aimed at every doctor who’d failed to fight for me.

“I’d like to take advantage of you being here for the night,”

“With your permission, I’d like to order an MRI of your head and chest.”

“And I want to order more labs today to look for markers that might have been missed. I’ll consult with some of my collea...

“With any luck, by morning, we’ll have some answers as to...

“Blake!” Tessa’s voice came out slurred, a loopy grin spreading across her face.

“You look grumpy,”

“And you sound like you’re feeli...

“Come closer.”

Note to self: Tessa was a lightweight. “Can I tell you a secret?” I studied that damning scar. “I’m counting on it.”

“Back in high school, I thought you were the hottest guy I’d ever seen.”

“Cupcake, I thought you were the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen.”

My heart

“You did?” “Still do.”

“What party, Cupcake?” Tears welled in her glassy eyes, and something primitive in my chest howled at her pain.

“A guy mistook his door for the bathroom, so he got interrupted. He hurt me, but he didn’t fully … you know.” “If you think that lessens his punishment, you’re wrong. His fate was sealed the moment he touched you.”

“I don’t want you to see me as damaged goods.”

“Listen carefully.”

“Nothing, nothing, could make me think less of you.”

“Knowing you survived this? It only proves what I’ve always known about your streng...

The name etched itself into my brain like a patient’s time of death. A moment where everything after would be measured as before and after. Eric Voss. I’m going to fucking end you.

HELL YEAH BROTHER.

“A criminal attorney getting caught doing what I’m about to do would be spectacularly stupid.” “On the contrary. My expertise will be useful. Hypothetically.”

“Plus, I have a bat.”

“Blake, I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me. But you’ve probably run more tests in the last few hours than have been run in the last year combined, and none of them have told us anything.” “Tessa, I know this is frustrating⁠—” “Respectfully, you don’t know.”

“You’re a good doctor, and I know there are tons of great doctors out there, but you don’t know what this feels like as a patient. You don’t understand the catch-22 of enduring a medical mystery.”

“You can’t decide which is worse: getting a diagnosis that could change the rest of your life or never getting one at all.”

“Tessa⁠—” “No, you need to listen to me.”

“You don’t see how many nights I’ve cried myself to sleep, wondering if maybe I’m imagining things. If maybe this is all in my head. If maybe this is just me getting older.”

“And then having to find the strength to get up and keep advocating for myself, keep insisting something is wrong, only to be told repeatedly they can’t find anything.”

“But one thing has changed, Tessa. Your heart sto...

“And the fact that we don’t know why should terrify the hell out of you.” “So, you want me to feel afraid? Is that it?” “I ...

“I want you to get to the bottom of this.” “You don’t know what it feels like to have your life completely disrupted by some physical ail...

“And if your heart stops again?”

“Damn it, Tessa, you’re talking about risking your life!” “I’m risking my life? I tried everything in my power to get to the bottom of this, Blake. I ran the ball down the field for a year through twists and turns and hailstorms and rocks being thrown in my face, and you’re asking me to go all the way back to the beginning. I don’t have that in me. And maybe that makes me sound weak. Hell, maybe I am weak. There are warriors who charge on with medical mysteries for years, but I don’t have that in me anymore. And that is my choice. If you want to judge me for deciding that I want to move on with my life, go ahead.”

“I’m not judging you, Tessa. I’m scared.” “I was, too, for a while. But fear has a short shelf life with me. If there was something dangerously wrong with me, they would’ve figured it out by now.” “Dangerous? You went into cardiac arrest.” “The cardiologist said I was probably de...

“For some people, that might be inspiring, seeing and hearing about people with such a strong will that they’d stop at nothing to get answers. But for me? I saw the next twelve years flash before my eyes: spent in doctors’ waiting rooms, explaining my symptoms over and over. Going literally bankrupt, just to be told I’m getting older, or hormonal, or depressed. That everything is fine. In that moment, I made a decision. No more. I chose to reclaim my life. I chose to learn to live with the symptoms, just like a lot of people do with medical conditions.”

“You’re not in this alone anymore. That’s the other thing that’s changed. For the last twelve months, you’ve been going through this alone, and I’m sorry. I didn’t know, but if I had known …”

“I would’ve knocked down your front door and held your hand through the entire process. I would’ve gotten you the best doctors in the industry on your case, and I wouldn’t have accepted no...

“So, let me take over now. Let me shoulder this burden for a while. Let ...

“Bla...

“I don’t want this to be your fight.” “Let me take this from you ment...

“You focus on your work and whatever else you want to focus on in your life. All I ask is that if I need to run a tes...

“I will not stop until I get answers. It will become exceedingly more difficult for me to do that without your cooperation. So, have some compassion for me. Cooperate.”

“I will be investigating this with or without your help because I will not let you drown in this ocean, Tessa.

And I can promise you this: I will not rest until I figure out ...

“I was thinking a week.” “Test results alone can take two. And I might need follow-up testing. Six months?”

“One.” “Tessa.” “One month, final offer.”

“Fine. One. Give me four weeks. You go about your normal life. Run your business, go out with friends. Do everything you wa...

“You’re helping me,”