Crash (Sinners and Saints #1)

by Kathy Lockheart

could break the only promise I’d ever made to Ryker, you deserve s...

“You’re fighting this though,” I said, recognizing the torment in his eyes. “I can tell. You’re trying to convince me as much as you’re trying to convince yourself.”

“Walk me through your symptoms today.” His voice shifted to that professional tone, throwing up yet another wall between us. “Blake.”

“Stress can wreak havoc on the human body,”

“But this isn’t stress, Tess. Something’s wrong, and I need you to tell me everything about your day. From the moment you woke up until now.” “Why?” “Please.”

“Indulg...

“Well, I woke up, had breakfast⁠—” “What did you eat?” “Pancakes. Extra syrup.”

“Of course you did.”

“Then I had my morning tea and those supplements you gave me while making calls from the office. The office you created for me,”

“Did you touch anything new? Cologne? A cleaner? New body soap?” “No.”

“Keep going.” “And then I left to run to a florist. That’s when I s...

“Did you touch anything at the f...

“No.” “Did you make any stops before the florist?” “I … yes. I stopped at my place for business cards. It was literally five seconds. If breathing in mold got you sick after five seconds, then sleeping there for the l...

“Who?” “Your creeper.” “My...

“Was he waiting for you again?” I swallowed hard. “He was on his porch.”

“Tell me exactly what happened.” “I was distracted, angry about the florist situation. I grabbed my cards, and when I was closing the door …”

“He came up behind me, put his hand on my shoulder.”

These symptoms aren’t random,” he said, voice barely above a whisper. “After all our tests, I think someone’s hurting you deliberately.” My heart stuttered. “Blake⁠—” “And when I find them,”

“they’ll learn exactly how much damage a doctor can do.”

“Is that why you’ve been spending time with me?” My lip trembled traitorously. “Because doctors love a good mystery, right? Is that all this was?”

“Tess—” “God, I’m such an idiot.”

“I actually thought … I thought you were interested in me. Not my symptoms. Not the medical puzzle. Just … me.” “That’s not⁠—” “The way I’ve always been interested in you.”

“How pathetic is that? The teenage girl who never grew up, who spent years wishing you’d look at me the way I looked at you. And then I end

“But this is too much. Every wedding I’ve ever planned, every centerpiece I’ve designed, do you know what I was thinking? Would Blake like this? Would Blake choose this? God, it’s humiliating.”

“And then miracle of miracles, you’re finally in my life again, and I think maybe, maybe this time … but no. I’m just your medical mystery of the month.” “That couldn’t be further from the truth.” “That room says otherwise.” “That room?”

“That room isn’t evidence that I don’t care about you, Tessa. It’s proof that I’m ...

“How dare you accuse me of n...

“I care so much that it fucking scares me. Do you want to know the biggest reason I pushed you away? Because e...

“I couldn’t survive that. Not you.” “Blake—” “That wall? That’s me trying desperately to keep you safe. Every time I hear about you suffering, it feels like someone’s ripping my heart out. And this, solving this, was the one thing I thought I could do for you. Your family took in this pathetic, emotionally stunted kid who didn...

“You’ve always been there. Always. And I’ve nev...

“So, don’t you dare think this obsession means I don’t care about you.”

“It means I love you, Tessa. I have always loved you, no matter how hard I fought it. I will always love you.”

“You think I don’t care about you?” he growled, biting my lip slightly. “I’ll show you how much I fucking care, Tessa.”

On the terrace, he’d admitted to wanting me physically all these years, but this time, he professed his love for me. This was his soul recognizing mine.

“You’re beautiful, Cupcake.”

Something crashed through his features then. A softness, a light that looked like it had been trying to turn itself on for years in an unending storm and finally miraculously broke free.

“Birth control?”

“IUD,” I managed breathlessly. “Thank hell.” Blake’s voice was rough with need. “Because I want to feel every inch of you with my bare skin when I take you, Cupcake.”

“Don’t you want to see what it’s about?”

“I’m too busy getting everything I ever wanted, Tessa.”

“I’m sorry⁠—” “Don’t be,” I whispered, cradling his face between my palms. “I feel safe with you.”

Because this was Blake. My Blake. My body recognized him on a cellular level, reaching for him like a flower turning toward the sun.

My heart.

“I don’t want to trigger⁠—” “You won’t.” “But—” “If anything feels wrong, I promise I’ll tell you immediately.”

“You’re mine, Cupcake.”

“I’ve wanted to bury myself in you for so long.” He bit my lip, a little too hard. Like he was angry he’d been forced to wait for this.

“Take control, Cupcake.”

“I love you, Tessa.”

“I’ve loved you for a long time, Cupcake.”

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” The question slipped out before I could stop it. “Why didn’t you let me love you?”

“No.” He stepped into his pants, one leg at a time, still not meeting my eyes. “That’s not it. Not entirely.”