ENIGMA: A Winston Hills Novel

by C.M. Barnes

“Bro, for the life of me, I cannot fathom having kids and treating them like your biggest opposition. I don’t know what life has in store for me, but I know that when I have kids, they’ll never feel ANY of the pain my parents have made me feel.”

Angel and I never held back our feelings, amidst the horror of our upbringings, we opted to take a different path and provide a safe space where vulnerability was welcome. As young black men, we saw what happened when adults lacked emotional intelligence and regulation and vowed to never fall prey to that generational curse.

“Keep it arched, I’m still fucking eating.” Yes, I was face down, ass up in Angel’s room while he was on his knees expertly eating my pussy from the back, and I was not ashamed either.

As if he could hear my thoughts, “I know I’m taking you through it, baby, but gimme one more and I’ll clean you up and put you to sleep. I just need to finish the ownership process and make sure my pussy knows she belongs to me now.”

“You and this pussy belong to me now, I don’t give a damn what other nigga is in the picture, that’s dead, you understand me?”

I was serious Layanna, and that means I need to wake up to your beautiful face and greedy pussy that likes to suck my dick in with every stroke I give her.”

“I wasn’t drunk off anything, I’m your man now, you’re my girl. If you didn’t want that, you should’ve kept that squirting, gushing pussy to yourself and kept

your hands off my balls,” causing us both to laugh. From that day forward, I was a permanent staple in their lives.

Never in a million years did I think I would be navigating life as a widow while exploring my deepest desires with my deceased husband’s best friend, who was also navigating life as a widower.

As my hand slid up her body until I reached her neck and grabbed it, adding just enough pressure to make her moan, I told her, “Yanna, I’m about to lay back and you gone hop your thick ass on my face and feed me this pussy until you cum, do you understand?”. “Yes,” she replied on a moan. “Yes, who?” I asked. “Yes, daddy!” she cried out as her flood gates broke and an orgasm ripped

through her entire body, and she squirted all in my face.

“I haven’t tasted or fucked you yet, and look at you squirting, get the fuck on my face, NOW,”

“Yanna, don’t test me right now, because the way I’m feeling, I’ll yank them little ass biker shorts off you and spank your ass and pussy until you’re sore and squirting everywhere,” he spoke matter of factly and continued, “I have been calling and texting you for the last week and for some reason, some bizarre reason, the woman that I have talked to everyday for the last however many months, can no longer be reached after her pussy turned me every which way

but fucking loose,” he stated in a growl biting his bottom lip after.

“Yanna, don’t play with me. Who do you plan to date, knowing they won’t make you feel as nasty and x-rated as I do? You and that pussy mine, and I’m not backing down. If you wanted to date, you shouldn’t have surrendered every hole on your body to me.” his statement left me visibly flushed.

Needless to say, Yanna and I were stunned into silence, because none of the kids had mentioned doing grief therapy together, and they never ever brought up us dating again after losing Angel and Maria. If I had to bet money, Yanna was feeling the same thing I was: pride. Proud that we’d raised six adults who understood the importance of mental health and wellness, and didn’t shy away from taking the necessary steps to ensure they remained healthy in mind, body, and soul.

I know the trauma of my childhood was not my burden to hold, but my healing was.

“Mrs. Graves, it takes a special kind of love to humble yourself not only in front of your child but in front of others and speak openly and honestly about the damage and pain you inflicted on her. I pray that you, Yanna, and Mr. Graves continue to heal as a family and individually. Any way I can be of help to you all, please let me know,” Caleb stated as he stood up, preparing to embrace my parents.

Angel and I had talked in depth about the abuse he endured growing up. I convinced him to give therapy a try when we first got together, and over the years, therapy had opened the door for Angel to forgive his parents, but he wanted nothing to do with them and told them as much when they tried to reach out with their hands out ten years

ago. They hadn’t reached out to apologize, atone, or even attempt to meet their grandchildren, proving they were the same self-serving egomaniacs that they had always been. I wish I could say Angel is rolling over in his grave at this latest stunt, but this is precisely the type of shit Angel would expect from his sperm loser ass father.

will never win as long as he tries to tear down and destroy the people he should be building up and pouring into,”

“But see, son, that’s why you don’t reward poor behavior because it continues to spiral.

grace is reserved for people who actually do the work to right their wrongs,”

“I’mma be honest with you, Freckles, you haven’t been loved right, and that’s why you half expect us to be trying to strong arm you out of your freedom to choose what you want and need romantically. I’m a true lover boy. It makes my dick hard knowing I treat the women in my life so good that they can’t fathom not giving me all of themselves, mind, body, and soul,”

Healing was a tremendous amount of work. I see why niggas stayed toxic.