When metamours like or even love each other, it's a wonderful thing for everyone. We've both experienced that blissful place of spending time with two or more of our lovers—or one of them and another of theirs—all of us just enjoying each other's company. That's a good ideal to hope for and even work for, but there can be a trap: We've also seen a craving for that ideal badly fuck up what could have otherwise been some pretty decent situations. If you begin to prize that ideal over the actual needs and personalities of the people involved, you are violating our ethical axiom 1: the people in
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