You and Me Forever: Marriage in Light of Eternity

by Francis Chan

Throughout the Bible, God appeared powerfully when His followers took risks for His sake.

God has a pattern of showing up mysteriously and powerfully on the battlefield.

If every believer shared the gospel as often as you, how many would be reached? If everyone gave the percentage of their income you did, how much would we have to give to the poor?

God made you for a reason. Like a toaster, stoplight, or aircraft carrier, you were designed a specific way for a specific purpose.

You are different than everyone else on earth for a reason. And you have a supernatural gift to offer the church. To say that you are useless or ungifted is to say that God failed.

Unity is the natural result of two people following one Spirit in a life devoted to the mission.

We should all make decisions based on hindsight.

So we should go through life joyfully resisting temptations, sharing the gospel, and sacrificing for the poor, knowing that future rewards far outweigh any suffering.

Stare at the unseen. The eternal. Don’t become blinded by the transient. We spend far too much time looking at temporary things. That is exactly what Satan wants you to do: ignore reality. Ignore eternity. Doubt the things that God says are true and significant. The devil bombards you with temporary issues. He is trying to make you love things that don’t last. How is he doing?

I don’t have any statistics to prove this, but based on my experience, I’d bet that at least 95% of American “Christians” would choose not to leave their families today if they were given the choice to be with Jesus. You can justify that all you want, but something is off.

If you’d rather watch your kids grow up than see the face of your Savior today, you don’t grasp the beauty of God. If you worry about what would happen to your children if you were gone, you don’t understand the providence of God.

There’s always something immediate and attractive that keeps us from anticipating heaven.

The truth is that God created family, and He wants us to find pleasure in our families for His glory. There is a way to love our children while leading them into a lifestyle of worship and mission. And this will ultimately bring the most fulfillment to us and to our children.

But the truth is, we are doing a disservice to our children by constantly serving them and enabling them to be lazy. This is how kids end up being burdens.

Here’s a question every parent should be asking: What will break my heart more? If my kids don’t end up loving me? Or if they don’t end up loving Jesus? Seriously contemplate that question.

I have never allowed any of my children to speak disrespectfully to Lisa or myself. We exercise authority so they have a picture of authority. It’s not about a power trip. As a dad, my job is to paint a picture of God by the way I act. Since we do not worship a weak God who permits disrespect, I refuse to be a weak dad who allows his kids to talk back.

Good parenting means showing your children that the mission is bigger than any of us.

Jesus spoke about more than feelings and emotions. He spoke of literal sacrifices that would disrupt our lives and possibly end them.

Should parents really make following Jesus more palatable to their kids so they won’t find His commands so hard to deal with?

Easy circumstances do not cultivate strong children.

It baffles us that the Israelites couldn’t even wait for Moses to come down from the mountain. We think it’s ridiculous that they became so impatient that they gathered gold and created an idol to worship (Ex. 32). It was a stupid and costly mistake, but many of us do the same thing! We can’t wait until Christ returns, so we gather up our riches to set up a counterfeit paradise. We try to isolate our family in a safe community and provide ourselves with whatever our hearts desire. We try to create our own heaven on earth.

Many choose to become Christians because they think it will make life easier. Jesus warned that it would actually make life far more difficult (Luke 14:25-35). Paul promised the same: “Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted” (2 Tim. 3:12). God has called us to far more than attending church services and raising nice children. We are in a race, a fight, a war. Those who decide to follow Jesus have signed themselves up for a life of suffering. The solution is not to dodge trials but to persevere through them. But we can use the pain to our advantage. It can remind us that “this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison” (2 Cor. 4:17). The pain in life can remind us of future rewards. Each time we suffer, we can praise God for His promise of a better future. For now, we wait with the rest of creation.