You and Me Forever: Marriage in Light of Eternity

by Francis Chan

Following Jesus means that we put aside our personal desires and trust that the end result will be better. That’s what Jesus meant when He said, “deny yourself, pick up your cross and follow me” (Luke 9:23).

The moment I come home, I reassure them of how much I missed them and how I wish I could just stay

It’s important for them to understand that the mission involves saving people from eternal torment, so we must all be willing to make sacrifices for a greater purpose.

They see the gap between our supposed beliefs and our actions and decide not to join the hypocrisy.

Make sure the mission of God is the priority in your life. Let your kids see, and give them opportunities to join you in serving God. As they experience the joy of serving, the hope is that they will still be serving Him faithfully long after you are gone.

Teach your children that life is short and uncertain, but our future is not. Every funeral they attend, every family member that passes, every pet that dies will only reinforce this truth. Too many parents try to shield their kids from reality. It is only a matter of time before they figure it out for themselves. Help them process reality from an early age, and teach them why it matters.

Ask yourself, what is truly the most loving thing I can do for them: Let them play around with God’s laws? Or hold up God’s laws as the standard by which we live? After all, these commands are our very life.

Even at a young age we have to remind them that what God says, goes.

The real question is: Is your life characterized by a pursuit of Christ? If it is, then you can humbly accept your mistakes without being crippled. If it is not, then you can repent and believe that God can transform not only your life, but the lives of your children too.

Your integrity in marriage will have a huge impact on your children. This does not mean that they will not see you work through conflict or have bad days here and there. But your kids need to know that you’re the real deal.

It matters how you treat your spouse in front of your children. It’s extremely important how you talk about your spouse when he is not there. Your kids are not dummies. They pick up on disrespect, irritation, and lack of love. But they also pick up on grace, patience, and a loving attitude.

We don’t want kids that are “religious” and shy away from cussing or watching R-rated movies. We want kids that love God with their whole heart, and live their lives to please Him.

That giant, all encompassing love we feel for our children should be lost and swallowed up in our love for Jesus.

We have to stop being so fearful about everything and start trusting that God knows what He is doing.

But God reminded me that this is what it looked like in that moment to love Him most, to love Him so much I would willingly place my precious child into His care.

Because really, what good is a “believer” who doesn’t trust God? What good is a “follower” of Christ who doesn’t follow Christ? God calls us to surrender everything to Him. If we can’t—or won’t—there’s no point in moving on from there. But if you want to—if you will—there’s no better place to start.

This is going to sound evil to some of you, but I (Francis) have actually prayed that my children would go through trials. If trials are the channel through which strength comes, wouldn’t we want some trials?

Easy circumstances do not cultivate strong children. I want my kids to be strong because I have watched weak people cower when pressure came. I think the future is going to be difficult, and I want my kids to persevere. I want them to go through some trials while they are still under my care so I can shepherd them through it. I want to raise strong children.

But our parenting is not exempt from the command to make disciples. God has entrusted you with your children so that you would make them into disciples who will go into every part of the world and make disciples. This mission is too important to squander because of our insecurities, our longing for comfort, or our fears.

In our final years, we can sprint, knowing that we can collapse into His arms.

Those who decide to follow Jesus have signed themselves up for a life of suffering. The solution is not to dodge trials but to persevere through them.

I certainly don’t want to stand before Him having lived a cowardly life.

Ask Him for opportunities to share the gospel, and take the opportunities He provides.

Time flies. And it flies faster each year. So don’t procrastinate.

Your life is going to be over any minute, and you’re going to regret holding on to things you weren’t able to keep.

May we spend our married days reminding each other of Your glory, Your gospel, Your love, Your power, Your mission, and Your promise of what is to come.