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“The world is full of monsters, Hallie. But these guys? They’re the good ones disguised as the bad. Just remember that.”
I close my eyes and hold him tighter. “How can I help you, Conan?” I see him. The man under the blood. And I want to be his anchor. “Just by being you, Hallie.”
Hallie sets her sights on me with a bright smile, and my heart stutters, then pounds. Yeah. She is my happy place. I’m certain of it.
He’s the match. And I’m the spark. Together, we burn bright.
“You fell for me, hmm?” “Yeah. I dived headfirst off a fucking cliff for you, Mr. Quinn. Straight into the sea of madness and obsession.” “Trust me, baby. I’m swimming right there with you.”
Because as long as I’m with her, it doesn’t matter where we are. She’s home.
“I can’t let her go,” I say, my voice hoarse. “She’s mine.” She’s not just a woman. She’s an obsession. A fire under my skin I’ll never be free of.
“Anytime. That’s what older brothers are for…” He smirks. “Bringing your victims back from the dead.” I let out a laugh. “Usually I want them to stay fuckin’ dead.”
I will win this game. I will find Conan. And we will burn this place to the ground.
“It’s Hallie. Honestly, I am convinced she has some sort of chemical effect on my brain. When I’m with her, I’m like a goofy teenager, desperate to please her. To make her laugh.” Declan nods. “That’s called being in love, brother.”
Fuck whoever’s behind it. Fuck this whole twisted setup. They named this place after Decadence Chocolate. America's sweetest luxury. What a joke. This isn’t sweet. It’s hell.
Does that make me a monster too? Just like the ones who run this game. Are we all just evil deep down? I shake my head. I know I’m not. I try to be a good person. Even when my world is ripped apart. But the woman who walks out of here, if she ever does, is not going to be the same Hallie that entered.
But I vow to make it right. I won’t stop. No one, including myself, will hurt her again. And I will die protecting her if I have to.
There was life before Hallie. It was dark, but it was bearable. Then there was life with Hallie, where for the first time I started to picture my future with a goddamn smile on my face. Life after losing Hallie? I don’t know how to do it. Is this just how I will live now? Empty? Like I’m missing the other half of my soul?
Because he is my person. I know that. And soul mates aren’t supposed to treat you like this. But soul mates don’t hide who they truly are from each other—monster or not.
Loving Conan is going to kill me.
“You’ll always be everything to me, Hallie. Even if you hate me for the rest of your life. I’ll love you until I die. You are my first and only love, trouble.”
Finn calmly knocks twice on the door. “We’re asking permission to kill them?” Finn doesn’t flinch. “No. Our father taught us to always have manners, Conan.”
“Why does love have to hurt so damn bad?” I mutter, rubbing at my eyes. I’m exhausted. “That’s how you know it’s the real deal, brother. Remember how much I hated Charlotte? For years? And now look. It’s worth the risk. Take it.”
“I really am a mess, aren’t I?” I laugh, though it sounds hollow. “Yes. But you always have been. Ain’t nothing new,” Finn smirks.
That’s the one official conclusion I’ve made in the nights eating only ice cream for dinner—I love Conan. And I don’t think there’s anyone else out there for me.
If I’d known that love would feel like this, I might never have let myself fall so hard. Nope. That’s not true. I’d fall in love with Hallie a hundred times over and never regret it.
“Say it,” I whisper. “I love you, Hallie. I didn’t realize you could feel a love like this before you. I love you. I love you.”
“Did you do this?” It doesn’t look as neat as Finn’s handiwork. “No. Dr. Miller.” “You let your arch-nemesis save me? Wow. I’m not sure if I should be concerned or impressed.”
“Please tell me these are happy tears. Not ‘I’ve never wanted a kid and I want to run away’ tears.” I pull back and cup his face. “They’re ‘my life is finally falling into place and I’ve never been more in love in my life’ tears.”
“You never lost me. Not in my heart. I think I was always going to find my way back to you.” “Or I was going to chase you until you did.”
“God. You’re making me feel all mushy. Maybe I should find a girlfriend,” Rowan pipes up. “You should. Could lose your virginity then.” “Reggie. Tell Conan I ain’t a virgin!” Rowan demands. “How would I know?” Reggie’s face remains stern.
“All I want—now, tomorrow, next week, next month, fifty years from now—is you. You are it for me. You are the purpose I’ve been hunting for my entire life. You, trouble. And as many kids as you’ll let me put in you. And maybe some more dogs to keep Bertie company.”
“I want you to have something on you all the time so you remember that no matter what, every day, for the rest of my life, I choose you. For exactly who you are. No matter your past. Even on the bad days. It’s always going to be you for me, beastie.”
We aren’t monsters. Not entirely. Or perhaps we are. But we have good hearts, and like my mom said…that’s all that really matters.
It wasn’t until a ray of light pulled me out of the darkness that I started to see the monster I’d become. Or maybe I became evil to survive. I’ll never really know.
My peace isn’t a place. It’s a person.
“What happens now?” she asks quietly. “We get married,” I murmur against her temple, “we move in here, we have our baby…and we live happily ever after.”
“I’d wait forever for you,” I whisper.
“I’m not sure whose love story is more dramatic, yours or Declan’s,” he mutters. “I don’t know…Hallie never tried to kill me. I’d say he takes the crown with that one.”
“Uncle Conan! Can I pick the music?” She wraps her arms around my leg, and I scoop her up to my hip. “Depends what genre.” She rolls her eyes dramatically. “Heavy metal. Obviously. The ones we play in the gym?”
He smiles, kissing me softly. And the moment our lips meet, those same sparks ignite inside me, like they always have. This man would do anything for me. He’d burn the world to keep me safe. He’d chase me to the ends of it.
We both spent too many years hiding in the shadows, letting grief rot us from the inside out. It’s as if we were destined to drag each other into the light. And for the first time, we don’t just get to survive. We get to live.
