Defy Me (Shatter Me, #5)

by Tahereh Mafi

My guess is she finally gathered the strength to remember who she’d always been. And if you don’t get that, I’m glad things didn’t work out between the two of you.”

And it’s not insane to imagine that sometimes even horrible people are searching for a way out of their own darkness.”

But when she looks me directly in the eye I feel my heart go suddenly, terrifyingly still. A skipped beat. A moment of death.

I feel two sets of emotions—hers and mine, the both of them intertwined. We seem to be feeling the same things at the same time.

And she smiles. Smiles at me and my heart shatters. “Trust me,” she says. “I’d remember you.”

You don’t know that Aaron has been in love with Ella for the better part of his entire life. They’ve known each other since childhood.”

The reason he had to keep wiping their memories was because it didn’t matter how many times he reset the story or remade the introductions— Aaron always fell in love with her. Every time.

i am melting

Aaron Warner Anderson is the only emotional through line in my life that ever made sense. He’s the only constant. The only steady, reliable heartbeat I’ve ever had.

I had no idea I’d lost so much of her. But then, I had no idea there’d been so much to lose.

And I realize then, in a moment that terrifies me, that I want this, forever. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I want to build a future with her. I want to grow old with her. I want to marry her.

He has that kind of face. The kind of face that makes you forget where you are, who you are, what you might’ve been about to do or say.

Today is not forever. Happiness does not happen. Happiness must be uncovered, separated from the skin of pain. It must be claimed. Kept close. Protected.

“Yes,” I cry, slightly hysterical. “Yes. Yes to everything with you. Yes to forever with you. Yes.”

“I love you, Ella,” I whisper. “I will love you for the rest of my life. My heart is yours. Please don’t ever give it back to me.”