Defy Me (Shatter Me, #5)

by Tahereh Mafi

Everyone from Point knew Castle’s story. He always made an effort to be honest, to share the hardest, most painful memories from his life so that the rest of us didn’t feel like we were suffering alone.

whole world. She’s looking at me and I feel suddenly off-balance. “What’s wrong?” she says. I have to step away from her. “I don’t—” I look at her again. “Are you sure I don’t know you?” And she smiles. Smiles at me and my heart shatters. “Trust me,” she says. “I’d remember you.”

shaky, terrified smile that isn’t a smile at all. “No. No. You don’t—” He sighs, looks away. “Paris has never told either of them about their shared history. The reason he had to keep wiping their memories was because

didn’t matter how many times he reset the story or remade the introductions— Aaron always fell in love with her. Every time.

No one explained to me how darkness works, how it feasts on itself or how it festers. I hardly recognize myself these days. Becoming an instrument of torture destroyed what was left of my mind.

And just as I begin to return his embrace he swears, violently, and launches himself backward. “Jesus, woman— Are you trying to kill me? You can’t turn that shit off for a second? You have to go and ruin our dramatic reunion by nearly murdering me even after I’ve gone to all the trouble of f—” I launch myself into his arms again and he stiffens, relaxing only when he realizes I’ve pulled my power back. I forgot, for a second, how much of my skin was exposed in this dress.

And I realize then, in a moment that terrifies me, that I want this, forever. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I want to build a future with her. I want to grow old with her. I want to marry her.

He smiles. “You know— I feel everything when you touch me, love. I can feel your excitement. Your nervousness. Your pleasure. And I love it,” he says quietly. “I love the way you respond to me. I love the way you want me. I feel it, when you lose yourself, the way you trust me when we’re together. And I feel your love for me,” he whispers. “I feel it in my bones.”

“You are a plague upon my life, Kishimoto.” “I said you’re welcome.”

“Then congratulations. And yes, I’d be happy to be your best man at the wedding.”

Today is not forever. Happiness does not happen. Happiness must be uncovered, separated from the skin of pain. It must be claimed. Kept close. Protected.

I’m still amazed at how just the sight of her could bring me so much peace. She

Is this joy? I think it might kill me. “Aaron?” “Yes, love?”