Breathe With Me (Playing For Keeps #5)

by Becka Mack

“My, you’re eager. Aren’t you going to ask my name first?” “Nah. Already know it.” With a perfect, wide grin, Emmett Brodie deposits his phone into my hand. It’s opened to the New Contact page, except the name field has already been filled out. Mrs. Brodie.

“C’mon, Mrs. Brodie. The quicker we get through the formalities, the quicker we get to the fun stuff, like my ring on your finger and you in my bed for the rest of our lives.”

“This is my favorite birthday ever,” he murmurs against my skin. “What? It’s your birthday?” “Mhmm. For another two minutes, at least. New Year’s baby, freshly twenty-seven. Feels a lot like the first day of my life, though.” “Happy birthday,” I breathe, heart pounding at the feel of him pressed against me, his fingers dancing down my hair. “What did you get?” His palm settles in the curve of my lower back, his whisper pressed to my ear. “You.”

“But one look is all it took to know you had to be mine. I don’t deserve you now, but I’m gonna spend the rest of my life making up for that, and when I die, I’ll be a worthy man.” He tilts my head back, mouth hovering a breath from mine. “Tell me I can have you, gorgeous. Because it’s you or no one.”

“Because my heart stopped when I saw you. Because when you turned to walk away, my body said I think the fuck not.” Sweat trickles down his temple, and his mouth takes mine in a searing kiss that has me trying to crawl inside him. “Because never in my life have I felt the way I feel right now, inside you, like I’m exactly where I’m meant to be. I don’t know why, but I know every time I look at you…brain just keeps screaming mine.”

“You wanna be a mom one day?” he asks as he tries—and fails—to fix my dress, the mess of hair on my head, and I think it’s wild he’s asking me this when he still hasn’t asked my first name. “One day,” I manage, gasping as I stumble, legs officially giving up the fight. Emmett catches me around the waist, pressing his whispered words to my mouth. That’ll be the second-best day of my life, right after the day I make you my wife.”

There was Cara Hunter, the woman who was happy and capable of doing it all on her own. And then there was Cara Brodie, the woman who’d never need to do anything alone again, but with the man who reminded her day in and day out that she could.

I was unstoppable before Emmett. With him, I’m indestructible.

“Don’t let the voices win,” he whispers, pressing his forehead to mine. “They don’t know you the way I do. They don’t know your fight. My loud girl doesn’t let anyone else dictate the rules. Me and you, Care? We build our own rules.”

“I’m going to marry you, Cara. I see my future as clear as day.” “Yeah? What’s it look like?” Emmett cups my cheek, resting his forehead against mine. “It looks like you.”

“I love you, Cara. And I don’t care that it’s only been three weeks, and maybe you think I’m a little crazy. I’ve been crazy since the day I took one look at you and told myself you were it for me, and I’ll be crazy for the rest of my life, because there’s nothing sane about the way I love you.”

I’d marry you over and over again, every day for the rest of my life.

But maybe it was Emmett. A deep breath. A clear head. A calm heart. A steady hand. That’s always been him, hasn’t it?

Emmett is and always has been mine, just as I’ve always been his.

Emmett is the long haul. With me through the easy, with me through the hard. With me.

“Breathe, baby. Breathe with me. Because I can’t breathe without you.”

I will love every version of her, always. Her soul will always be hers, and it’ll always be tied to mine. I’m sure of it.

And I don’t know what it is about those words, about the fact that my best friends named one of their children after me. I can’t explain what that does to me, the pride it sends surging through me, the way it silences every damn voice in my head that wants me to second-guess everything about myself, and replaces it with two words. Two words on repeat. A gentle reminder, a firm truth. You’re enough.

For the second time tonight, a little voice stops us in our tracks, right before we can close the door. “I wished for you. When I wished on the stars tonight, I wished for you. Good night, Mommy. Goodnight, Daddy. I love you.”

I’ve learned that the most important person in the world to convince of my worth … it’s me. All the love in the world will never make up for the love I need most: my own.

My body is a temple. My heart is good and full. My brain is powerful and magnificent. And me? I am fierce. Capable. Worthy.

It’s the never-ending love that shines in his eyes that nearly knocks me to my knees as he gently tucks Abel into bed, sifting his fingers through those copper waves. He brings Abel’s hand to his mouth, pressing a kiss to his palm and whispering, “If you and your mama were the only stars in my sky, that would be all I needed.”

Love isn’t easy. It’s not supposed to be. But loving you, firefly? Loving you is the easiest choice I’ve ever made, and I’ll choose you for the rest of my tomorrows.” “And after that, too?” He presses his smile to mine, and I’m sure of the answer before he breathes the promise into me. “And after that, too.”

But Emmett just grins. Ambles over to me. Takes my face in his capable hands. And says yes. “You’re pregnant, Cara.”

Lana Olivia Brodie showed up nearly two weeks late on a Thursday morning in September, named after both Mémère and her auntie.

Maybe things can happen and fucking suck and hurt and tear you apart from the inside out. And maybe, sometimes, there can still be a reason for it all. To force change so you can finally heal, so you can be the one who steps up and breaks the cycle, so you can help others navigate the waves when they’re fresh.

I was unstoppable before them. With them, I’m indestructible.