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“Goddamn, I love me some cowboys in tight Wranglers. ’Tis the rodeo season for fine asses,” my childhood best friend, Magnolia, blurts way too loudly.
“Honestly, I wouldn’t know from personal experience, but I’m all about givin’ the elderly an equal opportunity.”
She holds up her left hand and wiggles her bare ring finger. “I can still appreciate the view when he looks like a souped-up cowboy who walked right out of Yellowstone.”
“Oh, right. You traded in your adrenaline junkie card for an AARP one. I’ll go easy on ya next time.”
“You dressin’ up for Jase or Daddy Fisher?”
“What’s your poison?” he asks once we squeeze our way to the bar. Men twice my age. And off-limits.
Dear Jesus, thank you for this food, but please make this dinner less awkward before I do something stupid like blurt out I had sex with our new farrier and am possibly falling hard for him, too. If you could send a hurricane, tsunami, or meteor to end this dinner as soon as possible, that’d be appreciated. And then I make the sign of the cross over my body at the same time as my mother says, “Amen.”
"You don't allow a girl to get dirty. She'll only wanna do it more." Noah grins.
“Ex-boyfriend alert,” Magnolia mutters in my ear as she approaches from behind. “Better quit lookin’ at Daddy Fisher’s ass.”
She snorts. “Puttin’ that AARP medical plan to good use then, huh?”
After a moment of silence, she clears her throat. “I wish I could hate you for makin’ me fall in love with you, but you’re the Taylor Lautner of exes.”
“Am I supposed to know what that means?” The corner of her lips curves up. “He’s the favorite ex of Taylor Swift because he’s unproblematic and treated her like royalty.”
“I’ll ask that hot doctor out there for some blankets and pillows,” Gramma adds. That makes me chuckle.
know ya love him, honey. As long as the feelings are mutual, I won’t scold y’all for lyin’ and keepin’ it a secret.” Her words are firm, but there’s a hint of a smile on her face.
“You’ve been mine since I laid eyes on you. Even when we couldn’t be together, I was always yours.” Then I press my lips to her knuckles. “I’m madly and desperately in love with you, Goldie. Nothin’ would make me happier than you being mine out in the open for everyone to know you own my heart.”
“Not at all. It’s always a fun time when I can tease him about datin’ his dad.”
“Oh my God. Are you just proposin’ so I can get the recipe?”
I chuckle at the memory of when someone called guest services because they thought someone was being murdered. They asked if we had any weapons in our room, and I responded, “Only if you count my husband’s tongue.”
“Damn. Daddy Fisher sperm workin’ double time.” She waggles her brows, and I playfully smack her arm.
