Here With Me (Sugarland Creek, #1)

by Brooke Montgomery

Noah’s gorgeous and charming and at least twenty years younger than me. I shouldn’t have been staring at her, but I couldn’t help it. The moment my eyes landed on her, she consumed me.

I love how bold and free she is. Noah’s unlike anyone I’ve met before, and the urge to claim her mouth is stronger than anything I’ve ever felt. Blunt, beautiful, and unapologetically herself. And way too goddamn young.

Noah hurled herself into my life for a reason. For the first time in only God knows how long, I want to follow my heart and see where it takes me.

She has no clue what she does to me.

I’m not petite by any standards, but he makes me feel that way by how he manhandles me.

“My parents will murder me if I have to call them after midnight to bail me out of jail.” Considering the times I’ve not ended up in jail, you’d think they’d give me a pass for the one time I did, but I sincerely doubt it.

“Stunning, Noah. You’re fuckin’ stunning.”

My heart flutters, and God, do I wish things were different. I wish I wasn’t standing here with a man I wanted and fighting the urge to kiss him. The attraction we shared from the start is still there, and it’s no secret Fisher feels the same. We’re so screwed.

Noah’s breathtakingly beautiful, but it’s her smart mouth and confidence that attract me to her the most.

Noah drives me insane. It’s why I couldn’t keep my eyes off her at the rodeo.

I can’t have her. She’s not mine. She’s everything I can’t have. After the life I gave up, one of loneliness and solitude is all I should get. Still, I want to wrap my arms around Noah and keep her for myself.

“Before you get upset with me for followin’ the rules, just remember all the ways I’d break them for you.”

“And because I’m well aware of the rules, I gave them Jase’s number, not mine.” Her brows rise, and I laugh. “Figured he was single and allowed to date anyone he wants, so why not?” And I selfishly did it to hopefully keep his mind off Noah.

“You look breathtakin’,” he mutters so quietly I almost don’t hear him.

“What’s your poison?” he asks once we squeeze our way to the bar. Men twice my age. And off-limits.

“I thought you weren’t gonna drink that much?” The corner of her lips curves up in a devious grin. “I reckon I lied.” Goddammit. “Let’s go, then.”

“Isn’t it cool?” Noah shouts over her shoulder. Granted, if I were in my early twenties, I’d love it. I can see the appeal and why they flock here. But if one more person bumps into my shoulder and spills their beer on me, I’m hauling Noah over my shoulder and getting us the fuck out.

The next couple of hours includes dancing, more drinking, and Fisher glaring at me from the bar. He can’t be on the dance floor with me without my brothers getting suspicious, so instead, he’s drinking water and watching me like an overbearing bodyguard.

“You’re sure you should be touchin’ me, Mr. Underwood?” I taunt, resting my palms on his chest as I continue to move my hips to the music. He removed the suit coat before we came inside, so now there’s only a thin button-down shirt between us. “I’m not sure I can stop.”

“The decision was made for me the moment we met. I didn’t know who you were or why I was hell-bent on watchin’ you in the crowd, but the second my heart decided, there was no goin’ back for me. Even though I try like hell to ignore these feelings, the pull to be near you is too strong to ignore. If you wanna stay just friends, then I’ll respect that and keep my hands off you. But if you want more, I’m all in to give this a shot.”

“I have a lot of regrets in my life, Noah. Lovin’ you would never be on that list. I wanna know you beyond our physical attraction.”

Looking at Noah, I see the sun rising on a cool autumn day. Fallen leaves on the ground crunching when you walk on them. The scent of caramel pecan and pumpkin spice wafting through the air in early October. She’s my favorite time of year. And now, she’s mine.

It was then I decided even if we couldn’t be together in public and had to keep it a secret, it was better than not having her at all. I’ll deal with the consequences later. Even if they ruin me.

Dear Jesus, thank you for this food, but please make this dinner less awkward before I do something stupid like blurt out I had sex with our new farrier and am possibly falling hard for him, too. If you could send a hurricane, tsunami, or meteor to end this dinner as soon as possible, that’d be appreciated.

“Oh, that’s nothing. She was walkin’ right up to wild horses at eight years old.” Dena shakes her head, but her voice has a sense of pride. “It was like she had no sense of danger.” That’s the adrenaline junkie in her. “It wasn’t so much as tricks as just seein’ what I could get away with,”

“Can I ask you one more thing?” she asks as I place my forehead on hers. I blow out a shaky breath. “Yeah, anything.” “Did you mean what you said earlier about fallin' in love with me?” Fuck, she's not making this easy. “Yeah, Goldie. Meant every word.”

The guilt of falling for Noah eats at me because I know what I have to do in order to keep my promise. It’ll hurt like hell, and she's going to hate me, but I must choose my son this time instead of taking the selfish route. When life got hard, I wanted to die, which meant leaving him behind. But then I didn't, and I still left.

Her thick golden hair is tied up in a messy bun, and her face is freshly washed of the makeup she wore today. She’s traded her olive-green sundress and cowboy boots for comfy sweat shorts and a tank top. She takes my breath away.

We haven’t slept together since the rodeo, but I can’t say no to her. Not this time. She knows this is goodbye.

“I remember everythin’ about you, Noah. There’s nothin’ about you I’m gonna forget. Not the way you lick your lips when you’re nervous or aroused. Not the way you wrinkle your nose when you’re unsure of or don’t like something. Not the way you cock your hip when someone’s pissed you off. And definitely not the way you beg for me. So tell me what you need tonight, and I’ll give it to you. Anything.”

She owns my heart. My soul. Every ounce of my love. “Fuck, Goldie.” More tears fall down her cheeks, but I don’t wipe them away this time. I lower my mouth and kiss each one.

There’s no easy way around this. I tell my son, and he’ll no longer want anything to do with me. If I don’t tell my son and he finds out about our secret relationship, he’ll no longer want anything to do with me. The only solution is to break things off now before there’s a secret to find out. I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t.

“Shush. If you’re gonna break up with me, at least say horrible things about me so I can feel the normal rage afterward.” “There’s not one bad thing I could ever say about you.” “Oh, c’mon. You owe me this.” She spins around until we’re face-to-face. “What is it you said before? I’m self-absorbed. Overconfident. Too bold.”

“Don’t say that. You deserve to be happy, and I know someone out there will do a way better job than I ever could.” “I know you want that to be true, but it just isn’t.”

When I told him I loved him and he walked out the door, I was furious. And heartbroken. But mostly sad he didn’t say the words back.

“Honey, I’d never seen a man look at a woman the way Fisher looks at you. I may be old, but I ain’t blind.” My lips go dry as I comprehend what she’s implying. “How does he look at me?” I whisper. “Like you’re his whole world and he’d rather die than not exist in yours.”

Hanging out with someone I can’t be with is a special kind of torture I’ve never experienced before. It sucks, but I also can’t stay away. Seems she doesn’t want to either.

I refuse to lose Noah. She’s the love of my life, and even if we can’t be together, I can’t go through another heartbreak. I wouldn’t survive it this time.

“You will never be a burden to me, Goldie. I would give up the privilege of breathin’ if it meant takin’ an ounce of your pain away.”

“If it’s meant to be, we’ll find a way. Otherwise, I’d like to get over the heartbreak and move on.” She hitches a thumb over her shoulder toward my bedroom door. “With Mr. Tall, Dark, and Rugged in your kitchen makin’ you a feast? Good luck, bestie. You have more willpower than I do. I’d be on my knees, beggin’ him to pick me, choose me, love me.”

Being just friends with the person who owns my soul is as torturous as it sounds, but I refuse to leave unless it’s for work.

“Thank you for lunch. It smells delicious.” Her stomach growls when she takes a big bite, and I laugh when she gets pesto all over her mouth. “When’s the last time you ate?” I lean over and brush my thumb across her bottom lip, then lick it off.

Fuck, she’s so damn hardheaded. “Takin’ care of you and keepin’ you safe are my top priorities, Goldie. I know ya don’t like it but too goddamn bad. Your parents are countin’ on me, and I’m not about to let them down a second time.”

She licks her lips before sucking her bottom one between her teeth. “That’s not why I’m frustrated.” “Okay, then tell me. What’s goin’ on?” “You broke my heart.” She pauses and lowers her gaze as if getting the words out is more painful than her ankle.

Her voice cracks as tears fall down her cheeks, and I swear I forget how to breathe. Her words are a dagger to my heart, and I hate myself for what I’ve done to her.

I haven’t seen Noah in two days unless you count parking outside her house and sleeping in my truck all night like a stalker, but I don’t think it does.

As much as I love talking to her, I know it only makes it worse. Someday, she’ll find someone who’s right for her. When that day comes, I’ll wish her the best and drown myself in a bottle of whiskey.

I can love her from a distance and give her room to move on.

“Oh, who did y’all think ya were foolin’? I knew it from the first time I saw Fisher look at you. I’d never seen a man so in love.”

“He called and left me a voicemail the day after y’all met and said, ‘Damien, I met her. The woman I’m gonna marry someday.’”