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To all the people-pleasing girls who grew into women afraid of setting boundaries. May you find the courage to draw them, and the love that says yes to you anyway.
The problem with being a chronic people-pleaser who hates conflict is that life is nothing but constant conflict.
Intimate relationships are, as my therapist Zeina loves to say, a constant negotiation of boundaries. But when you’re scared to set those boundaries, you can’t have intimate relationships. Not without bending over so far it’s practically a yoga pose.
“Because I didn’t want this to end. Because I didn’t want to leave you,” I say. “You’ve made me feel safe and wanted and supported. You made it effortless for me to be myself with you. You’ve made it so easy to love you. Every step of the way, you’ve made me feel more things than I ever thought I could. I love you too. Of course I do.”