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As they keep talking about whoever this guy is, that uncomfortable sensation keeps creeping up on me. The one slinking into my awareness far too easily. Weaving around all my organs, it settles somewhere deep inside my stomach. An almost weightless sensation. An awkward feeling as if I’m quietly unspooling. The unsettling knowledge that I’m hiding a massive fucking secret from my closest friends.
The sight of him smacked me sideways, and it’s like my head is still spinning in an effort to recover my senses. The impact of the blast keeps ringing in my ears, and I feel like a prize idiot stumbling around trying to regather my bearings.
This is the kind of weather that swirls and hangs about, nipping at your heels. An ever-present reminder that winter is about to purse her lips and start blowing those first icy kisses our way any time she pleases.
Hardly likely. Guys who grew up out of the dirt like I did aren’t ever gonna be the ones with their names hanging on a sign at the front gate.
:(
Eight seconds is all it takes. The kind of timeframe that—to ordinary people—is no more than a distracted thought, a blink, an inconsequential ticking of a clock.
Why did having Raine’s attention on me feel like a welcome thing? And more importantly, why the hell did it warm my blood, rather than causing it to boil?
Holy shit. That subtle recognition scatters my brain cells like tiny marbles. I haven’t ever looked at guys with that sort of awareness before, and right now, it feels like this is a whole new dance I gotta learn real fast.
“Take your sorry ass home, Wilder.” I back up, shaking my head at him as I prepare to walk away. “Unless your goal is to come last the next time you compete, then by all means, hang out here choking on a lungful of smoke. I bet Chaos will be laughing all the way to that next winner’s podium.”
Were rapidly approaching "I hate him territory"
Can’t I just carry on in this cozy, dreamless place? It’s soft here. Feels nice. Everything is usually so hard.
“Kayce.” My stomach always does this stupid thing when he says my name. It’s so rare he does, that when it actually happens, the sound of those letters dragging over his tongue is unsettling.
When I’m with Raine . . . he feels like the idea of getting on a roller coaster for the first time. Like there’s a hidden part of me who wants to enjoy the thrill, but my rational mind keeps yelling can’t you see the danger? A default sense of self-preservation tugging on my limbs. Warning me that I should run in the opposite direction from this hypnotic, uncertain sensation.
“Sorry.” I’m not even sure what I’m apologizing for. All of it? This whole night? For being born in the first place and just being a giant goddamn burden on everyone’s lives?
I hate him, and I don’t, all in the same breath. Because I think the thing I hate the most about him is that he won’t allow me in. He’s always swept me aside, always blocked me from getting close, always sneered at me if I attempted to be in his orbit.
I deliver another one of those stupid little whimpering noises. I serve it up on a platter just for him and can’t help myself. He can have it. He can mock me forever, hold it over my head until the end of our days.
I’m officially pissed off that a horse knows what it feels like to have his fingertips offer a gliding touch like that, and I don’t.
It’s the kind of thunderclap that leaves you shell-shocked, with ringing in your ears, and your life dramatically and irrevocably altered.
My mom’s favorite insults. She used to love hurling them my way when she was off her face and mad as hell with me for some unknown reason. They’re all carved into my psyche, like scratches grooved into wood.
“I had nowhere else to go.”
Hehehe
He’s become my sun, and without him, I don’t know which way to turn. I’ve wilted even in the space of a single day without him nearby, and it’s frightening to acknowledge that I’m more strung out by this man than I dare admit.
I wet my lips, and that’s the moment we drop from altitude. It’s like my ears pop, and my stomach fills with fluttering wings.
“I could never hate you, snowflake.”
Like Kayce said, couldve fooled me
but then again, there are a lot of shoulds and should-nots I’ve crushed beneath my tires while making the drive up this mountain.
