No, You Hang Up
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Read between May 10 - May 13, 2025
20%
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God, I hope I’m not about to be haunted by the ghost of Aunt Hortense. Because by that logic, if I were to off Patrice, she’d come back to haunt me too and I can’t handle that emotionally.
28%
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His hair is dark, almost black, and my first glance of him reminds me just how normal the monster with the knife can be.
40%
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“Yeah, I’m definitely not going to impart tales of my sexual experiences to you over the phone, in person, or via a carrier pigeon.”
41%
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“Fine. I’m adaptable. What’s your favorite scary movie?” “Oh, we’re crossing genres now? No more shitty romance, we’ve moved to slasher horror? Let me just pop some popcorn. I don’t have a boyfriend for you to tie up by the pool, though. And I also don’t have a pool.”
46%
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Run away, little bunny. But don’t you dare make a sound.”
57%
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“You’re being a brat,” he informs me almost sweetly. “It’s cuter in the dark.” “Yeah, so’s your face.”
77%
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Murder isn’t sexy, I tell myself.
85%
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“I’m going to make you regret being so fucking addicting.”
93%
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“You’re all mine, little bunny. No matter if I want to love you, devour you, or ruin you. You’re mine to do with as I please.”
97%
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“Because you’re mine. And I like to believe you were always going to be mine. Whether it was going to be like this, or chained up in my basement until I could convince you to like me.” I swallow hard, but he doesn’t let go. Doesn’t break eye contact while I fumble for words. “That’s maybe not as romantic as you think it is,” I finally manage to whisper.